Mágoa // Spencer Reid

Chapter 12

"And I won't show or fear any pain,
even though all my armour might rust in the rain."
Coldplay

I still haven't moved. Everything around me is moving at high speed and I am just stuck here unable to move. Shock has me held down. A man in a hazmat suit walks over to me and asks if there is anyone I would like him to contact, but I shake my head and decline. I should call my dad, and uncle Bill and let them know. I pulled out my phone and started a conference call with my dad and uncle Bill, "hey pumpkin!" My Dad chirped and I felt tears forming in my eyes, "hey kiddo are you ok?" Uncle Bill asked, "hey guys-" my voice cracked slightly and I attempted to cover it up with a cough, "I'm so sorry to call so randomly. I just want you both to know that I love you so much and I couldn't have asked for a better pair of role models in my life. I'm sorry I have to go. I just wanted to say I love you both so much." I held back a sob and hung up the phone before either of them could reply, I rested my head in my hands my throat feels like I have swallowed some razor blades, and everything aches. Salty tears are now blurring my vision, my phone starts to ring I check the caller ID it's Reid, "h-hello?" I half cried, "hey Maria, it's Derek. Reid and I are out here, we got Davidson." I stood up and looked out the window at the pair who still had their bulletproof vests on, "h-hey," I mumbled trying to wipe away my tears, "Maria, try and look to see if there are any floorboards that are hollow," Reid said, I bent over to start searching but I instantly began coughing violently, a hazmat woman started to search after I told her what I was trying to do.

"Guys. I don't really think you should be here," I said, not wanting them to feel guilty in any way, "kid, you are stuck with us," Morgan said and I could see him smirking as he waved to me, more tears began to form, "I want to thank you for accepting me into the team. And Reid I'm sorry we didn't get on very well," I felt myself crying more, "I just want you to know that even though I haven't been around that long I admire you as a team," I paused and thought about how much I haven't done. I sobbed covering my face with my hand, no one has loved me yet. I haven't been kissed by someone who truly loves me, I haven't made love to the person who I trust not to break my heart, heck I haven't made love to anyone. I'm a foetus. I haven't lived yet. "Are you okay?" Reid asked, I sighed, "I'm just feeling a bit shitty is all," I attempted to shrug it off, "talk to us kid," Morgan said, "I've just thought, I can't leave my dad alone. I'm all he has. I'm only twenty three. No one has loved me. I'm in here, and I am going to die and no one has loved me. It's so ridiculous, I'm not finished yet, I haven't lived, there is so much more I have to do, so much more-" I sobbed, "hey, we love you, everyone on the team loves you." Morgan responded, "thanks Derek but that's not what I mean." I stared at the two men, they both looked sympathetic, "Maria-" Morgan started, but I don't know what else he said because I am being consumed by darkness.

I wake up and I am in my childhood home, I look around my pink and blue bedroom and smile at all of the pictures of me and my family, I feel a tear forming but I blink it away. "Ria!" Naomi's voice echoes through the house, I rush to the top of the stairs where I look down and see my mum and Nay stood smiling at me, "Pumpkin, what are you doing here?" My mum asked as I rushed to them, I pulled them into my arms never wanting to let go, "Ria, you shouldn't be here yet. It's too soon." She said sadly, I took her hand in mine, "it isn't too soon. I'm here with you, I miss you both so much! I'm so sorry I let you down." I cried, "pumpkin, she's right. You shouldn't be here yet." My mum whispered, "but I have you back. I have you both back-" I sobbed, "hey Ria, shhh. It's okay, we are going to be waiting for you until it's the right time for you, we will be right her." Nay said hugging me tighter, "I don't want to go," I mumbled, "Elizabeth Maria Williams. You are twenty three years old. You are going back and you are going to live your life, and you are not coming back until you are old and wrinkly!" Mum scolded and Nay stood beside her in a fit of giggles, "but I love you two, why would I want to leave this?" I argued, but my mum simply pushed me back upstairs, "it's time to go back now. If you don't go then you won't ever get to be in love, I love you pumpkin." She said as she kissed my cheek, Naomi followed in suit, kissing my cheek and telling me she loves me. That's when it all ends and I return to darkness.

I can't move, I'm stuck in an abyss and all I can hear is some irritating beeping, and there is something heavy on me at both sides on my legs, I try to wriggle a finger of something, "guys-" I can hear a blurred voice say, the weights on my legs lift and suddenly light floods out the darkness and my eyes are opening. The smell of antiseptic and hospitals is so strong I feel like I'm going to puke, "ugh," I groaned, I allow my eyes a moment to adjust to the light, on my left side there is Reid sat on a chair eating some red jello, and on my right there are three of my colleagues Garcia, JJ and Rossi, I look straight ahead and Prentiss, Hotch and Morgan are stood at the foot of my bed, "hey," I groaned, my voice still rough. "You gave us a scare back there!" JJ smiled, "I'm so glad you're okay!" Garcia exclaimed hugging me.

I'm alive?