Mágoa // Spencer Reid

Chapter 58

"Love is a very sensitive emotion, it feels more, lives more and cares more. It's like a glass, that one should prevent from breaking for once broken it's never the same."
The Hidden Writer

Maria arrived at Ben's apartment around half past ten, she called him to let her in and he quickly rushed down to greet her and take her bags. He led her upstairs to the spare room where she would be staying when they entered the living room she was introduced to Will. He stood at around six foot, he did indeed look sculpted by Greek gods- his cheekbones were high and defined and his jawline was sharp and equally defined. His light blue eyes were almost a grey shade, he had light brown hair that was slightly caramel coloured. He held his hand out to her for her to shake it,
"Hi, I'm Will. Ben told me all about you." He smiled at her and Ben moved to stand next to him,
"I'm um, Maria- Sorry I uhm have a thing with handshakes, sorry." She mumbled and began stumbling over her words, he let out a quiet chuckle,
"Okay, Maria- I'll let Ben show you to your room then we can order takeout if that's cool?" Maria nodded her head,
"Yeah sure! I love food!- I mean I love takeout food, well I love all food really- Oh my God- I'm sorry I am apparently not very good at this?" She ran a hand through her hair and let out a sigh, "I honestly don't know what's going on with me at the minute. I'm sorry guys." That was a lie she knew exactly why she was acting like this, Spencer loved her and she didn't say it back- but she didn't want to just return it like it meant nothing, and as much as she would've meant it she wants to say it when she really really means it.

The BAU had just arrived at the hotel they would be staying at, Spencer was sharing a room with Derek who had attempted to protest 'I ain't sleeping with Reid!' the two sat on their beds opposite each other. Derek looked at Spencer and saw a new kind of sadness in his eyes, it looked like regret and misery had become acquaintances in his eyes, blending together and taking over all of his features. His shoulders were more slumped than normal, he was fiddling with his hands on his lap and his left leg was tapping rapidly.
"What's up, kid?" Derek asked when the silence seemed too much,
"I told her I love her." Derek's head shot up and his eyebrows were raised at the young genius.
"And?" Spencer's gaze stayed on the floor,
"She didn't say it back, she just smiled, kissed me, and left." Derek's gaze remained on Spencer,
"Let me guess, you are going through every reason that she didn't say it back. You'll drive yourself crazy kid." Derek leant over and patted Spencer on the shoulder, "you need to remember that she's young, she's what? Twenty four? She never had chance to date when she was younger- You are her first relationship, just keep that in mind and don't overthink it. Okay?" Spencer looked up at Derek,
"Thank you Derek, really- Thank you." He gave Derek a small smile.

After getting herself set up in the spare room at Ben's Maria changed into her grey sweatpants and a hoodie of Spencer's that she had dug out of the 'breakup box'. She took a seat on the armchair and got herself comfy, Ben took a seat next to Will on the sofa,
"So Ria, how are things with Spencer?" Ben asked wiggling his eyebrows at her, she let out a small laugh,
"He told me he loves me, before I left to come here." Ben and Will's jaws dropped, Ben had told Will pretty much everything about Maria and the two had grown close since she left Chicago- they were practically best friends.
"What did you say?" Ben asked leaning closer to her,
"That I'd miss him, then I left to catch my plane." Will was now resting his head on his hands,
"So you didn't say it back?" Will asked, she shook her head,
"No, not yet." She replied thinking back to Spencer's face the brief look of hurt that flashed in his eyes when she didn't say it back,
"So do you love him or not?" Ben asked, she nodded her head quickly,
"Of course I do! I have loved him since the thirty first of May. I have been in love with him for 134 days- I mean I think I have, I don't know what love feels like- I don't have anything to compare it to. But I think it could be what I have with Spence." She said smiling as she remembered how she had started to have feelings for him before Maeve, and then how he had danced with her at her birthday party and she felt butterflies. And when they kissed for the first time, how he looked at her like she was the only person in the world- She didn't know what love felt like, but when she was with Spencer she felt as if she could melt under his gaze. She felt like she was walking on air whenever he was around- and when she heard his name her heart fluttered, but she had never been with anyone before and she was terrified of saying she loves him when she doesn't know what love feels like.

"I think you should do a grand romantic gesture when you get back, and tell him then-" Will started, Ben glanced at him and laughed,
"Or just make his favourite cake or food or something, and tell him." Ben suggested,
"I know what I'll do! I fly back on the fifteenth, I'll go shopping on Monday and buy loads of halloween stuff and I'll decorate the apartment!" Will and Ben shared the same quizzical expression, "Halloween is Spence's favourite time of year! And I'll buy pumpkins, I could make a pumpkin pie!" The two men in the room laughed at Maria's sudden burst of energy.

She sent Spencer a text asking how the flight had been to Arkansas he had replied with simply:
It was ok.
Maria stared at her screen with furrowed brows,
"Huh?" Will and Ben seemed to appear over her shoulders,
"Someone's not very happy-" Ben started, causing Will to jab his ribs with his elbow,
"Don't worry Maria, he's probably working." Will offered, she gave him a small smile,
"Yeah you're probably right," she let out a sigh and switched her phone off.

She couldn't wait for Sunday to roll around.