Draco to Tom:
Draco: I guess right now you've got the last laugh.
Tom: Is it the jealousy of me being married to your aunt?
Draco: I'm sorry if I seem uninterested, or I'm not listenin', or I'm indifferent!
Tom: That was definitely sarcastic.
Draco: Truly I ain't got no business here.
Tom: Why are you texting me???? I am the Dark Lord, more superior than everyone else combined.
Draco: But since my friends are here, I just came to kick it
Tom: I didn't think you had friends.
Draco: But really I would rather be at home all by myself
Tom: if you go home I will snog Bellatrix in front of your face just to annoy you.
Draco: Not in this room
Tom: Bellatrix and I just had a makeout session.
Draco: With people who don't even care about my well-being
Tom: I understand how you're feeling, but they shouldn't care about anyone less than I.
Draco: I don't dance, don't ask, I don't need a boyfriend.
Tom: Dancing.....? You do dance. You're quite good, actually.
Draco: So you can, go back, please enjoy your party, I'll be here.
Tom: Where exactly is 'here'?
Draco: Somewhere in the corner under clouds of marijuana, with this boy who's hollering!
Tom: Is marijuana a thing that makes you smarter? If so than please give me tons!
Draco: I can hardly hear over this music I don't listen to and I don't wanna get with you, so tell my friends that I'll be over here.
Tom: You have friends...?
Draco: Oh oh oh here, oh oh oh here! Oh I ask myself, what am I doin' here?
Tom: Don't ever ask me, the Dark Lord why you are in my presence. It's an honor.
Draco: Oh oh oh here, oh oh oh here! And I can't wait 'til we can break up out of here!
Tom: No, you will sit through the Death Eater meetings in peace! And please, no wearing your horrifically ugly army green clothing.
Draco: Excuse me if I seem a little unimpressed with this.
Tom: WHY WOULD I FORGIVE?! Therefore, I am the Dark Lord!
Draco: An anti-social pessimist, but usually I don't mess with this.
Tom: What's a pessimist?
Draco: And I know you mean only the best
Tom: I DONT CARE ABOUT ANYONE ELSE BUT MYSELF!
Draco: And your intentions aren't to bother me
Tom: Yes they are because your father has failed me.
Draco: But honestly I'd rather be somewhere with my people!
Tom: You have people? Interesting.
Draco: We can kick it and just listen to some music with a message, like we usually do and we'll discuss our big dreams.
Tom: You dream? Geez, you have more of a life than I originally perceived.
Draco: How we plan to take over the planet.
Tom: WE?!?! YESSSSSSS I AM LORD VOLDEMORTTTTTT!
Draco: So pardon my manners; I hope you'll understand that I'll be here: not there in the kitchen, with the girl who's always gossiping about her friends, so tell them I'll be here!
Tom: I will kill your family.
Draco: Right next to the boy who's throwin' up cause he can't take what's in his cup no more... Oh God why am I here?
Tom: Because your father forced you to the Death Eater meeting.
Draco: Oh-oh-oh here, oh-oh-oh here.
Tom: Why the hyphens?
Draco: Oh I ask myself, what am I doin' here?
Tom: What are you doing here?
Draco: Oh-oh-oh here, oh-oh-oh here and I can't wait 'til we can break up out of here!
Tom: I can't wait til I can snog Bella again.
Draco: Hours later congregatin' next to the refrigerator.
Tom: What happened?
Draco: Some girl talkin' 'bout her haters, she ain't got none.
Tom: DONT USE AIN'T! *facewall*
Draco: How did it ever come to this? I shoulda never come to this So holla at me, I'll be in the car when you're done.
Tom: LEAVE! And see who kills you!
Draco: I'm stand-offish, don't want what you're offerin'
Tom: WHY THE APOSTROPHES?! I am the Dark Lord, so I deserve proper grammar.
Draco: And I'm done talkin', awfully sad it had to be that way. So tell my people when they're ready that I'm ready and I'm standin' by the TV with my beanie low.
Tom: You have a beanie? *laughs* I thought you gelled your hair.
Draco: Yo I'll be over here!
Tom: NOOOO! STOP! I am the Dark Lord and I order you to get me a Happy Meal!
Draco: That's from a Muggle restaurant.
Tom: WHYYYYY DID YOU INSULT THE DARK LORD?!
Draco: It was a lyric prank. And stop talking in third person. AND STOP SNOGGING BELLATRIX!
Tom: NEVER!
Draco: 🙄🔫 kill me now.
