They Don't Know About Us (Camren FanFic)

Chapter 35 : I Want Out

*Lauren's POV; The Next Day*

I couldn't remember another time that I've cried that much, did I want to take a break from Camila? Of course not, but it was for the better. I can't keep hurting her by being with her, sure it sucks now that we just broke up but she'll eventually move on... I don't want her to move on, but I'd rather have me be miserable and devastated for the rest of this journey than have her deal with it. She's too tiny and fragile to deal with that, besides I'm used to it. Because Camila and I's bunks were right next to each other, I heard everything. it sucked knowing that she was whisper crying at the moment, on the phone with her grandma trying to console her. I pulled my curtain back a little to just look at where she was and listen in, even more than I already was. All I could hear her say was that she couldn't stop crying, I felt the guilt eating me alive and wanted to smack myself across the face for what I've done and what I'm doing to myself, the other girls and the fans right now. Someday she'll understand, I'm doing this for her benefit.

It was now 1 AM, I felt the swollen part below my eyes, figuring that my eyes were swollen and bloodshot from all the salty tears that my eyes excreted. You'd think that crying would release enough liquid that you don't cry, but that wasn't the story with me. I groaned as I unplugged my phone from the charger and pulled back my blinds. There right in front of me was Camila, makeup running down her pale face. I felt my breathing skip as her eyes met mine and quickly looked away.

"Camila."

"Don't even try Lauren, I meant what I said yesterday. I don't want to talk to you anymore."

"You're talking to me now though." Hoping she would crack a smile to ease up the tension I've created.

"To explain how serious I am, just go do whatever you're going to do and leave me alone. That won't be hard for you, will it?"

She looked back at me, deep into my eyes and knew that her words had hit me quite hard. I sighed and got up, pulling my shirt down and brushing my hair back as I went to the bathroom and shut the door. Tears were appearing once again but didn't let them fall just yet, I wasn't about to wake everyone up to my crying and embarrass myself more than I already have. I came to terms with what Camila said previously and finally snapped out of whatever I was in and began silently sobbing. I gave myself a minute to wipe away and dry my face, ripping a piece of toiler paper and took deeply inhaled and exhaled. I wiped the excess tear remains from under my eyes, opening the door and shutting it behind me. Seeing that Camila's head had jerked up to see me, as I kept my head up and looked forward. She doesn't want to talk to me? I'll grant her that.

-

*Camila's POV*

It honestly hurt that I had to say that to Lauren and the harsh tone I said it in didn't really make it better, but if her intention is to get me to forget about her, it's really what I have to do. The night has been so rough, I've finally stopped crying after hours and hours. Funny thing is, I heard Lauren crying to. I don't know why, since she's so good at ignoring and hurting people. My night consisted of crying and writing, I wrote endlessly about the all the feelings that I couldn't say in conversation with the girls. I pulled out my notebook that I had hidden behind my pillow and turned to the beginning page of the entry.

Everyday, every second, I get this urge to talk to you. But then I remember, you're a different person now. The person that used to take up that arousing, wondrous, comforting, jaw- dropping creature, is now gone. Something else has taken over, not someone but this unworldly thing that has no care or worry for me. And the hardest part of this whole experience is the fact that I've lost her, I have lost my best friend and lover, and never got a goodbye. But not only that, but now I must learn to live without her. Trying to fill the void, the emptiness that's left inside your heart when they leave. So many unanswered questions, an unknown future, an interrupted story between us two. There is nothing I can do now, but wait and see if someday, my love will return. But if not, I will hold onto the memories until it's time to move on. Which you are pushing, and I don't know why. Just like a thousand other things I have yet to know. Was there someone else? Was she unsure of who she is? Was there hate that lead her to this? Just thinking of the possible chance of losing her to someone else burns my heart thinking about it, her loving someone that isn't me. I just hope that one day, I'll pop up in your mind and you'll think to yourself, "I shouldn't of let you go." But really, how could you just walk away? How does someone decide another person just isn't important anymore? I need to understand, Lauren. I need closure, and that's the least you can do.