My mind was always filled with uncountable thoughts, all messed up.
Every morning I stared at the ceiling when I woke up and counted to three, before I got up to get dressed. Every morning I could see the sun shining through my windows, causing me to groan.
The cold morning air hitted me everytime I entered the reality.
The world outside of my house.
I went in society hands and when I entered school it started to press me in my role.
Pretending to be this grey girl, that smiled and waved at everyone, just to be liked by people I couldn't stand.
All of them, glimpsing at me.
I know they were probably judging me.
But nobody had the balls to say it out loud, cause what if nobody would agree with them about me?
They were cowards.
And so was I.
I sat in my seat.
I was a pretty good student.
But still careful.
There was so much I sometimes wanted to add or discuss about, but I knew i couldn't show my inteligence off, without risking my image.
I didn't want to be called a swot or something.
Not today. (A/N: Yes I did this on purpose)
And not tomorrow. (A/N: Yes, this was purposely as well)
The first lesson eventually started and my teacher started to talk, to a bunch of still half asleeped students.
Asking questions, was all she could do and then randomly taking people, that's school.
I remeber how she asked this one question and took me to answer it.
Why I remeber this moment, you ask?
Cause it was the first time I got off track and spoke passionately about something.
It was a short amount of time where I didn't care about anyone looking at me.
My teacher was kinda dumbfounded when I finished.
It was the first time, when I noticed how Yoongi would look up from his note book, dropping his pen and staring at me.
It was the first time I felt dumbfounded.
And I remember how they said It's impossible to understand him and worthless.
"He's strange. Why would you want to spend time with such a loser?"
One of my classmates scoffed, eyeing me exactly.
"I'm just wondering..."
And that was true.
I was gaining an interest for Yoongi, since I first saw him and tried to understand him.
I always wanted to be nice to everyone and get everyone to like me.
It all started back then when I made my first friends and thought how nice it would be to have no enemies.
Yoongi wasn't necessary my enemy but he wasn't my friend either.
I couldn't force him into a friendship.
He was so hard to get to, since the first time I saw him I talked to him like once for probably not even a minute.
'Hey do you wanna be friends?'
And he just shook his head, before he turned around and whisteled quietly a melody to himself.
His response was still something I couldn't accept.
I was to stubborn.
I wanted to understand him so bad.
I wanted to show him how I really was, because I felt like he would accept the real me.
My friend shook his head
"Why are you so strange lately?"
I gulped, quickly denying everything I said before.
I put up a fake smile, and a dumb ass joke.
He giggled as always.
No suspicion.
Sigh.
The ice is getting thinner.
Would he swim in this cold water under the ice, trying to catch me?
