I gulped down my 10th shot of tequila, oh wait was it 11th? Or maybe 12? I actually don't know anymore kanina pa ako sa bar na ito, I just want to forget everything even just for tonight. Kahit ngayon lang gusto kong makalimutan muna siya.
Medyo nahihilo na ako dahil sa dami ng nainom ko, but it was still clear to me what I saw earlier. I saw him with another girl, I know I shouldn't feel this way, ako iyong nagdesisyon na iwan siya at wala naman kaming usapan na hihintayin namin ang isa't isa. And it's been 3 years ofcourse makakahanap na siya ng iba but it still stings, because no matter how much time had passed it's still him, it would always be him and it sucks because she already found another girl.
My friend, Gina, already warned me about it, tinawagan niya ako kinukulit na umuwi na ng pilipinas, she told me na nabalitaan daw niya that he's getting married with his long time girlfriend, I didn't believed her because I want to see it with my own eyes, and kanina nakita ko nga silang lumabas sa isang wedding shop dun palang ako naniwala na ikakasal na talaga siya.
I didn't actually know that he has a girlfriend, after we broke up I cut all my connections with him, sinadya kong hindi alamin ang mga nangyayari sa buhay niya pagkatapos kong masiguro na okay na sila ng family niya, na hindi na nila siya itatakwil at siya na ulit ang mamamahala sa mga businesses nila.
You see, my ex-boyfriend is chinese, he's the first born and their family's more of a traditional type, they want him to marry someone who's pure chinese, which I'm definitely not, ni 1% na dugong chinese wala ako. That's one of the reason why we broke up, his family is against our relationship because I'm not chinese, umabot naman kami ng 1year, but when they saw that we're already serious in our relationship dun na nagsimulang magkandaleche leche and buhay ko.
They never really liked me, they've been civil yes, pero never kung nafeel na welcome ako sakanila whenever Silver would bring me on their family occassions.
One time he brought me to his Dad's birthday party, aba eh may pinakilala ba namang babae sakanya, his angkong told Silver that he was arranged to marry Grace, sa harap ko mismo. Like wth diba?
Ofcourse Silver didn't agree, we love each other so much, he always reminds me how much he loves me, na ipaglalaban niya ako sa family niya.
Pero kahit gaano pa namin kamahal ang isa't isa, family is everything. Hindi ko kayang itakwil siya ng pamilya niya dahil lang sa akin. I know how much he loves his parents and his siblings, as the first born, at the young age he was already trained on how to manage their businesses, and alam ko kung gaano niya kagusto ang mga businesses na yon at kung ako ang pipiliin niya mawawala lahat iyon.
He asked me to marry him, that we elope, but I declined, I wasn't ready yet, wala pa akong maipagmamalaki, I was only an aspiring fashion designer then at hindi ko kayang lahat ng pinaghirapan niya eh mawala ng dahil lang sa akin. I love him so much, at kung ang pag-alis ko ang kailangan para hindi na siya itakwil ng pamilya niya, at hindi mawala lahat ng pinaghirapan niya gagawin ko. I can still remember everything the night we broke up...
"What? Are you serious?" I exclaimed with wide eyes. He just asked me to marry him!! I badly want to say yes, I want to marry him, because I can't see myself marrying a man other than him and I don't think kaya kong makita siyang ikasal din sa iba. It just feels so wrong, dahil kung tatangapin ko yung proposal niya, that would be the end for him, itatakwil na talaga siya ng pamilya niya and I can't bare to see that.
