The Weird and The Wonderful | Malec

Chapter 27

Alec's POV:

It was the day after Max's funeral, I was in the hospital visiting my dad. He wasn't too injured, at least not physically. He kept blaming himself for Max's death and, to be honest, a part of me did as well. I couldn't help it. How could a parent be so careless with their child in a car? A real parent wouldn't have let him fiddle with his seatbelt, a real parent would've made sure the belt was on before starting the car. What sort of parent is that careless? I couldn't help but have these thoughts.

I had to calm myself before seeing my dad, I had to stop thinking about Max and start thinking about my father. In all honesty, I never wanted to relive, or even think about, Max's funeral. I just didn't. I couldn't.

"How are you feeling dad?" Izzy asked with a motionless hand in her own.
"Great, I really am. There's no need to worry, it's only a broken leg." He reassured.
"Yeah, not half as bad as what Max went through..." I said, louder than attempted. There was a long moment of silence, everyone in a loss of words.
"Alec!" My mum hissed, taking the chance to break the silence and reassure her husband.
"I guess this family just doesn't have great luck with cars, right?" Said Izzy, followed by an awkward chuckle, in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"No. Izzy, Maryse, it's fine. He's only telling the truth."
"Robert." My mothers sympathetic voice rose.
"I was stupid, I wasn't careful," My heart started to feel like it was sinking, right down to the pit of my stomach. "What kind of parent would I be if I denied responsibility over my son, over his death?"
"No, Robert. None of this was your fault, you can't blame yourself for any-"
"But I can," My dad cut in, his voice starting to rise. "I can blame myself! I deserve the blame... because it was my fault! It was all my fault! NO ONE has the right to deny that when we all know that it's the truth!"
"Robert, stop."
"I won't stop, you don't understand! The pain I feel right now isn't in my foot, it isn't in my head, it isn't for me at all. It's for my son, our son. The son that I let die, he didn't die from his own carelessness, but mine. How am I not to take the blame?"

His voice started to quiver and, soon after, he broke down into tears. I felt like such an idiot, I couldn't stand being in that room for one second more. I stood up out of my seat and left my dads hospital room, giving him space away from someone who thought the same way he did. I made my way to the waiting area and took a seat.

What on Earth is wrong with me?

I tilted my head back so the top of it was touching the wall behind me. Closing my eyes I let out a long breath, which felt like it had been held forever, I stayed like this. Moments later, I heard Izzy's voice call my name and I jolted up, opening my eyes.
"Its best if we go home now, give dad some rest." She said with folded arms and a soft look on her face.
"Okay." I replied.
"Yeah?" She questioned, as if to ask if if I was okay with that.
"Yeah." I reassured.

"Magnus? You home?" I entered the apartment and was soon greeted by a bare faced Magnus.
"Hey, how's your father?" He asked after leaning in to kiss me.
"Not great, I don't think I helped much either."
"Why? What happened?" Concern was evident in Magnus's voice.
"I don't want to talk about it." I stated as I hung up my jacket.

Magnus's POV:

"Come here..." I grabbed Alec's shoulder and pulled him into an embrace, he wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged me back, tightly. "Let me show you something." I took his hand in mine and lead him to a window.
"What is it?"
"You'll see, just follow." I opened up the window, climbed out to the fire escape and waited for Alec to repeat my actions. We went up the stairs, right to the top, until they evolved into a ladder. I climbed over the ladder and onto the roof, waiting for Alec to mirror my previous actions.

"Wow..." I heard him say from behind me once he reached where I was. "This is beautiful!" I turned around to face him as his mouth hung wide open in awe. Placing his hand in mine, I dragged him over to the edge of the roof. From here you could see the whole of Brooklyn, the train tracks that sat above the city, the bright light that shone like a thousand stars on a clear night and, my personal favourite, the Brooklyn Bridge- its old and slightly rustic tone was what I liked best. It was truly a sight, one that Alec couldn't take his eyes off of.

"I bet we used to come here a lot. You know, before all this happened, right?" He glanced back to face me.
"Actually, no... I've never shown anyone this place."
"Really? Why's that?" He asked with a stinge of curiosity in his voice.
"I've always kept it secret, it's always been my little secret. Somewhere to go when living gets too much, somewhere to let it all out..." As I spoke I observed those passing by on the ground.
"Why show me now then?"
"Because," I started. "As much as I want you to be comfortable with me, comfortable enough to tell me everything, I can't guarantee it. Whether you decide to tell me or not, that's your decision and I will completely understand whatever you decide to do, but don't bottle it up. Don't hold in whatever you need to say, even if no one's listening, shout it out. I learned it the hard way, but you don't deserve to have something eat you up from inside-out purely because you feel ashamed of it. It'll feed off of that shame and self- pity, don't give it the energy to destroy you or the life you've built for yourself. Let... it... out." There was an extremely long pause where I could feel Alec watching me.

"I really do love you, Magnus Bane."