hate to love you.

three

well, it's dinner time and we're all sitting down.

there's steak, broccoli, and grilled onions and peppers for dinner. i usually love this, but tonight im not.

im picking over my food and all of a sudden my phone dings. i have a text.

it's from "demetria". i groan

it's says: eat your food, fat ass.

i slam my phone on the table and give demi a glare. she smiles.

"who's that from?" my mom asks.

i look at demi, and back at my mom. "it's from demi. read it." i said. this isn't something i usually do, so of course... demi's eyes widened. my mother gasped.

"demetria devonne lovato! what's this for?" she says holding up the phone.

demi rolled her eyes, looked at me and began to speak. "snitches get stitches". i was not thinking and i too opened my mouth. "you know, you get stitches for cuts on your wrist also. but, hmm you'll never know about that now will you?" i said covering my mouth.

at this point, everyone was just staring with their mouths wide open meanwhile demi is red with hotness.

"oh, and so you'll never know about what it is to have a father by you all the time... now will you?" she said. i slouched and sat back. she hit a spot.

i turned to mom and began to talk about my dad.

"hablando de papi, quiero verlo. quiero estar con el! (speaking of dad, i want to see him. i want to be with him!)" i said to mom.

"¡no! hemos hablado de esto antes. ya no quiero oír hablar de tu padre. (no! we've talked about this before. i don't want to hear about your father anymore.)" mami said trying to keep her peace.

"pero, mami. ¿no puedes ver lo infeliz que estoy aquí? estoy mejor con papi! (but, mom! can't you see how unhappy i am here? i am better off with dad!" i basically yelled.

i could see tears forming in mom's eyes. everyone was staring not knowing what was going on. i picked up my napkin to wipe my tears.

i blinked, and when i opened my eyes... mom slammed her hands on the table and stood up pointing a finger at me.

"suficiente! tu padre no es lo suficientemente bueno. eres demasiado precioso para él. hablar de esto de nuevo y lo siento. ve a tu cuarto ahora! (enough! your father isn't good enough. you're too precious for him. talk about this again and you'll be sorry. go to your room... now!)" mom said frightening me. she held her hand over her heart as eddie came and hugged her.

i slammed my napkin on the table and caused everyone to look at me. i looked at my mother hatefully for the first time, and said with pity...

"si me amabas, me dejarías ir con mi padre. odio todo de ti." i said and stormed out to my room.

i reached my door, slammed it shut behind me and decided to call dad again.

it rang 7 times and he didn't answer. i hang up. i realized that he was working. i sat there in the dark crying my eyes out. i wanted my father, and one day im going to find him all by myself. i will be with him. once and for all.

i got up, locked my door and went to the bathroom. i wiped everything off of my face and smiled in the mirror. just to assure my self confidence.

i put my hair up in a messy bun, and decided to go to sleep. it's been a hard day.

i grabbed my teddy bear that i received from dad as a little kid, and i pressed his tummy.

it was a voice recording of him saying a poem.