hate to love you.

sixty

"stay still." he said as began to take advantage of me. it's not anything i'd like to think would've happened to me, but of course it had to happen to me.

phil kidnapped me a few hours ago.

"what did i tell you?" he said as he groaned and slapped me across the face making me whimper.

by now, there are cuts, bruises and burns all over my body, thanks to phil, and no thanks to nick or demi.

who knew that such a great amount of pain could occur in such a little amount  of time?

"you're such a good girl." he said as he stroked my hair and laid beside me trying to catch his breath.

he grabbed my chin and turned my head towards him. "aren't you going to speak?" he said with his devilish smile.

i coldly turned my head the other way.

"put back on your clothes, and meet me downstairs in five minutes." he said grinning, walking out of the room naked.

i slowly tried to get up, but my body wouldn't let me. have you ever been in so much of pain that it hurts to move the slightest bit?

after about several minutes of struggling, phil came through the door with his face red.

"bitch, i gave you five minutes, get your ass up!" he yelled forcing me up making me scream in pain.

he threw my clothes at me, and then picked them up one by one, and forcing them on me.

"here's the deal," he said pushing my face up to meet his "you're going to get the hell out of my house, and if you ever tell anyone, i mean ever... you're dead." he said.

he picked me up and threw me down the stairs after he finished putting my shoes on me.

i winced as i got to the bottom.

he reached the bottom and kicked me over onto my back. "can you stand up yet?" he asked, but i just kept my mouth closed and cried silently.

he began to kick me, a wince came out of me each time he kicked me. spine enough, we were at the door, and he picked me up once again.

he opened the door.

"remember. i will kill you." he said before he lifted his foot and kicked me out of his house closing the door behind me.

i had remembered that i left my phone inside of the house, but that doesn't matter. i need to try to get up out of here.

i rolled over onto my side and grabbed the nearest bush next to me, carefully pulling myself up.

everything was spinning, and i felt as if i were going to throw up any minute now.

i released the bush from my grip and found out that i was able to stand up on my own, and barely take steps to walk.

reaching the sidewalk, i saw a tall girl, but of course she was blurry. she began to run towards me, and i completely lost it.

i tried to turn around and run, but my body became overwhelmed, and i collapsed.

--------------

"you're up!" i could hear somebody cry out to me as i opened my eyes. the events from earlier had eventually came back into mind.

"demi, she's up!" i heard alyssa say.

i sat up, but the sharp pain in my head told me to lay back down. what is this feeling? i hate it so much.

demi came over and put ice on my forehead. all of a sudden, alyssa came into view.

"i'm glad i found you when i did!" she said sighing. so, she was the one who was running towards me?

"what happened to you?" she asked me. she looked like she had been crying.

"n-not here." i croaked.

she nodded, and demi came and sat me up in my seat, carefully putting a pillow behind my back and head on the couch.

"i'm sorry, baby girl." she said as she wiped her tears. i didn't look at her, nor did i say anything back.

as soon as i felt well enough to go back up to my room, i grabbed alyssa and told her to follow me.

"what's wrong?" she asked.

"sit." i demanded.

"okay?" she said as more of a question than an answer.

"i'm glad you found me. there's something i need to tell you, but you can't tell anyone." i said looking her in the eyes.

"i promise." she said holding my hand.

all of a sudden, tears began to fall from my eyes. uncontrollably. alyssa seemed alarmed, and the first thing she could think of was to hold me.

i cried into her shoulder while she rubbed my back.

"thank you." i tried to get out, but she silenced me and continued to hold me like a best friend should do.

i sniffled, and got my self together before talking to her again. tears were still coming out though.

"h-he," i started. "it's okay..." she said rubbing my back. "h-he rap-raped me." i choked out.

she gasped, and stood up.

"who?" she screamed.

"be quiet. nobody else can know!" i silently yelled, if that's even possible. yes, it is because i just did it!

"but, we have to. you need to go to the hospital, you need to tell someone! talk to demi!" she said putting her hand on my shoulder.

"no, their wedding is in a week, and i am not going to ruin it!" i said getting up off of my bed.

i walked to the door and opened it, just to see demi and selena standing outside of the door. demi crying into selena's shoulder.

"it's all my f-fault." demi said trying to hug me, but i stepped back instead, leaving her to stand there.

i walked out of the room and downstairs into the basement, and into the studio, locking the door.

i'm overwhelmed, and i need to get it out somehow. i pulled the headphones over my ears, and pressed record.

i'm a little lost at sea
i'm a little birdie in a big old tree
ain't nobody looking for me
here out on the highway

from this day on, gabriela gonzalez will not let another soul into her life. nor will she try and stay in hers.