hate to love you.

fifty-three

it's been a few days since i've returned to my family. i'm back from the hospital, and i couldn't feel any worse.

morning after morning i've been throwing up, and demi is over concerned.

speaking of throwing up, i threw the covers off of me and ran to the bathroom. as soon as i stepped over the toilet, demi was behind me holding my hair back.

"this isn't normal, you should really go and see a doctor about this. is there something you're not telling me about?" demi said raising her eyebrow.

i couldn't be pregnant. could i?

"did you and nick have sex? because that's just gross." demi said laughing, but also sounding disappointed.

i just laughed and shook my head 'no'.

it's killing me not being able to tell her the truth, but i just know she's going to be so disappointed.

"let's go get some food into your system." demi said as she left the room. i quickly took a shower, and brushed my teeth before running down the stairs to meet demi.

"i've missed seeing you every morning." demi said smiling at me. i smiled, because she smiled and her smile is the most perfect smile i've ever seen.

"you know demi, i missed you too. i've been doing well, with the self-harming thing, but i saw your video and i kind of r-" i started, but ended up having to run to the nearest bathroom.

as always, demi was right behind me.

"that's it. wash out your mouth, and grab a coat. we're going to the doctors." demi said grabbing her keys and walking out of the door.

what if i get there, and demi finds out that i had sex with nick, or even worse that i'm pregnant!

demi has always told me that my virginity was something special, and that i shouldn't lose it before marriage but, to at least wait until i'm married.

the ride to the hospital was quiet, except for the sound of demi humming a few songs.

as we arrived at the hospital, demi parked the car and turned to look at me while picking at her fingernails.

"before we walk in the hospital, is there some information that you need to share with me?" demi said hesitantly.

i looked down, and then back up at her. "yeah, nick and i d-did you know, do it." i said looking down again.

demi sighed, "with protection, right?" she said. i shook my head 'no'. how stupid could i be? i'm sixteen and i could be pregnant.

demi allowed a tear to slip, but quickly wiped it. "that's all i needed to hear." she said quietly before opening the door and shutting it behind her.

i got out of the car and locked the doors before running behind her to catch up to her.

"gabriela gonzalez, here for a doctors appointment." demi said to the check-in office.

after about twenty minutes, a doctor called demi and i both in the room. here it goes.

"hi, i'm your doctor for the moment. what seems to be going on? what brings you here today?" the nice lady smiled.

"i've been experiencing some morning sickness, and i'm not sure what the cause of it is." i hesitantly said. i looked over to demi, and noticed that she had rolled her eyes.

"could it be possible that you're pregnant? i'm going to go and grab a pregnancy test." the doctor said, and i nodded.

i looked at demi, but demi didn't maintain eye contact with me for very long.

"demi, you can't just ignore me. sure, i'm fucked up, but it'd mean a lot if i had your su-" i started, but she cut me off.

"you'll always have my support, but i don't support you in the fact that you went and had sex!" she nearly yelled.

"i love nick!" i yelled back, but that only made her grow angrier.

"you're sixteen for fucks sake! you barely know what love is!" she shouted and stood up storming out of the door making sure to slam it behind her.

the doctor came back in with worry on her face as i wiped some tears from my eyes. "is everything okay?" she asked. i nodded.

she handed me the test.

"pee on the test, and after five seconds you should get some stripes." she said smiling.

i went into the bathroom and did my business before throwing the box away, and holding the stick facing downwards i walked out.

the doctor smiled in excitement. "what does it say?" she said clapping her hands together. i shrugged and walked out.

i searched left and right for demi, but realized she want out there. she wouldn't leave the hospital, so i went down by the elevator and check outside for demi.

there she was sitting on the ground.

"demi?" i asked. she turned around, but quickly turned back around.

"yes?" she said.

"i brought down the test. i want you to tell me. i'm very sorry, i was so stupid for doing something like that." i said. she looked up at me.

"you're right." she said making me smile.

i handed her the pregnancy test, and she flipped it over and smiled. "you're pregnant." she said smiling. she stood up and hugged me.

"seriously?" i said smiling. "what am i going to do?" i said laughing. she just hugged me tighter. "you're going to raise this child." demi said.

i smiled and nodded eagerly.

"what am i going to tell mom? that i had sex at the age of sixteen, and now i'm pregnant? she's going to be angry." i said to demi.

"of course, she's going to be angry, but even i couldn't stay mad at you for even an hour long. she'll get over it." demi said rubbing my back.

we made our way to the car.

"hey, gabs? guess what?" demi said smiling. i smiled back, "what dems?" i said.

"i'm an aunt!" demi yelled dancing and laughing. honestly, she looked just like a child.

i guess so.

i'm pregnant. i am carrying a child inside of me. i need to get better, not only for myself, but for my child.

it's the only way

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a/n- what do you think?

nobody ever comments, votes, or anything anymore. should i continue? i think i'll end it soon.