if you haven't read happier or perfect,I told y'all I want to do a whole kinda mini collection of one shots to (almost) every song on his new album, Divide. It's still gonna be in this one shot book// series but I'll have quite a few of my one shots just be new Ed songs.
Enjoy! (Also comment what song you want next
She were on her last leg. The doctors didn't expect her to live any longer than a month. She was just growing weaker and weaker. She couldn't walk, eat, use the restroom, or even breath on her own.
And god damn it, it broke my heart. She was permanently living in the hospital. So I was there every single day and only left to shower, change, and get food. Every moment I was away, I was worried something would happen. And every night, she would sleep on my chest, I sometimes couldn't sleep some nights just to make sure she was still breathing. Her friends and parents also visited daily. Every day was more bittersweet than the last.
June 5th-
"Babe." Spencer said weakly.
"Yes, baby." I replied.
"Everything hurts, I can't even slightly move, or even breath without feeling like someone was stabbing me repeatedly."
I took a deep breath, I knew this was gonna happen, and I would have to tell her. But I was never strong enough to. "If you hurt so much, go. I-"
"No." She protested. "I can't hurt you. I can't leave you."
"Seeing you suffer would hurt me more than seeing you finally in peace. And I know I'd never be able to kiss you, or hold you, or even tell you I love you again, but I'd rather have to do that for the rest of my life than know I was the one that kept you in pain this whole time." I didn't even know I was crying until I felt a teardrop fall on my hand.
"Okay." She whispered, crying as well.
"I love you so much Tobes. And when your old, and decide to leave, I'll be waiting for you. I'll always be waiting for you." She said, her hand in mine.
"I love you too."
The beeping of the heart monitor and the slight noise of breathing was the only sound in the room. We hadn't said a word since I told her I loved her. We just sat there, in complete silence. The sound of her heart monitor going faster and faster startled me. This was the last few moments.
"I love you so much." I whispered when her heart monitor went to a solid beep.
-
June 9th-
It was the first time I came back since she'd died. Almost everything was the same, besides seeing her beautiful face smile up at me and the annoying sound of the heart monitor that sat next to her. Emily put her hand on my shoulder as she walked up behind me.
"I know it's hard Toby, its hard for all of us, but we need to get her stuff out of her before tonight."
"Okay." I sniffed. I went over to the windowsill and picked up the vase of the flowers I got her from the supermarket weekly and dumped them in the trash. They were dying anyways.
Sooner or later, everything was packed into a box. The books, the pictures, her clothes, everything. Emily helped load everything into my truck then we left.
This girl, she made me a better person, a stronger person, I wouldn't be who I am without her. But I knew, from up above, god and the angles were singing, hallelujah, you're home.
