All I Want. {Sequel Mr. Mendes}

Find Me.

Alexis.

I laid in my bed sobbing to myself. My heart was tearing each second because I couldn't tell Shawn that I still loved him. Now I'll probably never see him again, but I need to though.

I need him to at least know how I felt, but how? It's not like I could go and hunt him down. And that's when something clicked into my mind.

I grabbed my phone from the nightstand and went through all of my social media, hoping there would be so sort of message there. I scrolled through twitter and searched for his name.

Almost ten million followers? What the hell!

I went through his feed and saw that he just posted a picture of him sitting in a car captioned:

On my way to the airport with a broken heart.💔

My heart sunk as I read it, and knew I had to do something about it. I caused this because I couldn't say three little words that meant so much to us.

I got out of bed and put my hair into a ponytail while slipping into one of his hoodies. I grabbed my phone and car keys then ran straight out the door.

Well aren't you a smart little being.

I went into the parking structure, got into my car, and rushed off to the airport.  My whole body was shaking at the thought of what I'm actually doing.  I needed to tell him how much he means to me.

But doing this though would mean me completely giving into him.  No more barriers that I could surround myself, just is finally getting a second chance on fixing everything we screwed up.

Surprisingly, there wasn't that much traffic to get to the airport, so I got there in maybe, twenty minutes.  I parked my car and ran into the building. 

I pushed through so many people hoping I would somehow find him.

"Excuse me ma'am, would you like to purchase a ticket to be able to go to a specific gate? If you don't I'm afraid I can't let you through," a man said and I huffed in frustration.

"Yeah, I'll buy one," I said and as I said that, my phone buzzed.

Another tweet from Shawn saying:

Flight 216, see you soon Germany! x

"Ma'am?" I heard the man say which snapped me out of all of my constant thoughts.

"Sorry, yes?" I said and he looked down at his computer.

"To what gate will you be going to?" He asked and I nodded.

"Gate 216 please," I said and was nervously tapping my fingers on the desk.

"Alright, here you go," he said and handed me the ticket.

I slammed my money onto the desk and ran off.

"Keep the change," I called out and rushed upstairs to find his gate.

So much was running through my mind at this moment.  The main thing that was going through my mind was losing him again.

If that ever happened, I don't know what I'd do.  If what we went through never happened, we wouldn't be in this mess.

All I wanted was him.  I wanted the love coming from him.  I wanted to be close to him.  I didn't mean for all of this to happen.

I gave away everything, and now I'm here.  I'm here trying to find the person I love not thinking of the possible outcomes.

I never wanted anything to hurt this badly, but it did.  All I wanted was to feel something with him, and I did before I ruined it all.  If I had stayed with him, I wouldn't feel like I'm burning or stinging. 

All of this is just tearing me up and killing me.  Through the years I was without him, I began to hate myself and I hated that.  I didn't want to hate myself.  I didn't want to hate anyone else. 

I just wanted the love of someone who I truly want.  And that someone is Shawn.  He waited so long to find me again, and now here I am.  Finding him because I now know what I want.

I ran through each hall until I finally reached gate 216.  I looked through everyone, but didn't see him.  They were already boarding, which means I lost.

I lost the whole meaning of my heart.  He's gone and now the game has ended.  I had no expression in my face, and I could feel it.  I could just feel my heart being ripped out of my chest and him taking it with him.

I watched through the people boarding the plane and my eyes widened as I recognized someone.  Brown, messy hair, black hoodie, dark gray sweatpants, a backpack hanging from both shoulders.

"Shawn," I mumbled to myself and slowly started walking towards him.

"Have a nice flight Mr. Mendes," the flight attendant said, and I sped up my pace.

"Shawn!" I called out and immediately his face turned in my direction.

"Alexis," he whispered, that basically no one could pick up except me.

My eyes swelled up with tears and a relieved feeling rushed through my body.

"Alexis," he said again and threw his backpack to the ground to run up to me.

In a instant, my feet were off the ground and wrapped around his waist.  My arms held were wrapped around his neck, and I felt at home.

Our lips collided together, and I forgot how much this felt like home.  His arms were my home.  When I would be with him, I was home.  He held me carefully and I could feel him smiling against my lips. 

You can say this is cliché of me to say but it's true.  With him, I've decided that through any struggle, through every goodbye, through every heartbreak it's all for him.

I would go through it a hundred times in hope that I'll end up with him in the end, and I know he'll always do the same.  I was brought back to life again and my feet touched the ground and our lips were pulled apart.

I looked into his eyes that were filled with tears, and all I could do was kiss him again.  I pulled away again to see him smiling down at me.

"Yes Ms. Rivera?" He said with a smirk and tried controlling his tears.

"I just," I paused once I saw a single tear drop from his eyes as I said the three words I wanted to tell him for a long time, "I love you Shawn."