Toxic Chaos

Love is Love

When talking about love, the question isn't always what. It can be:
What is love? When is love? Where is love? How is love? Why is love?
Who is love?
Love is defined as a strong feeling of affection and a great interest
and pleasure in something. But technically love can't be defined,
because of how deep it flows in us and around us. It has various ways
of explaining it and showing it. It's not always a person, it can be
an animal, a pet, a workplace, a calming place, home, a game, a song,
a hobby, a car, some that passed away even.
Love isn't always there when you want it. It's not always going to be
convenient or easy or practical either. But when you find it, you have
to fight for it, because if you don't, you risk losing everything.
What is love and what isn't love? Love is when two people touch each
other's souls, it's honesty and trust, its female and male, male and
male, female and female, asexual and asexual, it's helping one
another, it's mutual respect, it works through differences, it's
forgiving, it's the connection of two hearts, it's knowing someone's
weaknesses and not taking advantage of it, it's confidence, knowing
their flaws and accepting them, it's not testing their loyalty, it's
intense, it's not checking their reliability, it's not faking being
mad to see if that person will stay or leave, it's unconditional love,
it's feeling brokenhearted and still being able and feeling eager to
love more, it's giving your all, it's placing priorities, it's scary,
it's not jealousy, it's pain, it's not hurting, it's reciprocal effort, it's feeling safe and protected, it's spontaneous, its
wonderful, it's losing, it's not rejection, it's a decision, it's not
a judgment, it's being in sync, it's not fighting more than loving,
it's less fighting more loving, it's feeling weak and strong at the
same time, it's kindness, it's romantic, it's fun, it's not sadness,
it's happiness, it's not violence, it's peace, it's being there for
someone or something, it's caring, it's apologizing, it's not denying,
it's admitting, it's not tears, it's smiles.
When is love and when isn't love? Love is when you outgrow your
confidence and feel the need to go out and meet new people and live
life spontaneously. It's when you see someone and right away see him
with you during everything else you do. It's when you stop caring
about useless things and give more importance to what matters. It's
noticing the little things and mentioning them to your lover. It's
discussing what bothers you and what doesn't instead of feeling the
need to fight. It's when you start talking to someone and realize this
person is either going to get you out of your misery or be your misery
for changing you. It's when you feel that this person is making you
happy or capable of it. It's when you change for the better for that
person and vise versa. It's when he/she treats you the same alone or
around people. It's when that person stands up for you, which is also
when you know that this person has got your back. It's not influencing
to change towards the worst. It's when you would want to spend every
opportunity you get with them. It's when you feel as if no one matters
more than them. It's when you're able to forgive them for doing you
any wrongs. It's feeling unable to let go after you've been through so
much. It's when you get attached and it feels so hard to just give up
and let go. It's when you miss that person. It's when you need that
person in your life. It's when you feel like you can't live without
that person or as if you can't do anything without him/her. It's when
only you can be that person's elixir. It's when asked about your love,
you feel joy and your cheeks start flushing. It's taking your time to
not ruin anything. It's not rushing into anything you think might
screw everything up.
Where is love and where isn't love? Love is where you see everything
in that person you want and desire. It's where you see not yet
invented colors in his/her eyes. It's where you figure out that's the
place you want to be. It's where you accept it as your safe haven.
It's where you find it in you to fall in love and know that this
person is going to catch your fall. It's where you express all your
love. It's where you finish what you started and end it as soon as it
starts to fade. It's where you give more than you thought you possibly
could. It isn't where you fall for the body and ignore the personality
and emotions behind it.  It's where you see more than just your love
but everything you've been wish fulfilling your whole life. It's where
you admire and take in your love's temple and feel everything that
everyone else wants to feel, yet you're the only one that gets what
they want. It's where you start realizing that you're one of the
luckiest people alive. It isn't where you only enjoy the asses,
muscles, abs, legs, boobs. It isn't where you feel only pleasure. It's
where you feel anxious as if you lost that love in your life, that's
when you'll start missing out. It's where you start giving in to fear,
fear of losing, fear of them giving up on you, fear of leaving, fear
of disappointment. It's where you realize the more you spend time with
them the more you'll need more of it. It's where you give all you have
just to see that person smile, laugh, and just be happy. It's where
you acknowledge that only that person can bring you that down and make
you that happy. It's where it seems to you that no matter what you do
and how much you try, this person or thing or place will never be
replaceable.
How is love and how isn't love? Love is being romantic, buying each
other gifts, remembering each other's birthdays, going on dates,
watching movies and series together, praying together, appreciating
each other, impressing each other's parents, going on trips together,
laughing together, singing and dancing together, taking pictures
together, accepting that you both have other people in your lives,
having personal space, not controlling each other around, not getting
jealous of the simplest things, not saying anything that might hurt
the other person just for the sake of saying it, sleeping next to each
other, sleeping together, living together, fighting for each other,
caring for one another, burrowing clothes from each other, kissing and
cuddling, making jokes, teasing each other, wanting each other more
and more, it's not cheating and it's not lying, shop together, plan
and talk for hours, have breakfast, lunch, and dinner together,
help each other out, be there for each other, celebrate together,
dress up together, party and live life the way you want and don't give
two damns about what people may say or think.
Why is love and why isn't love? They say time heals, and when you're
desperate to rip your heart out of its place that's when you start
thinking that time will only fail you and it'll never help you move on
or get over whatever is keeping you down. But trust me, take it from
someone who's been there multiple times. Time does heal. You often
feel like not wanting more. That if you've been brokenhearted once you
wouldn't want to give love another chance because you're scared of
feeling the same pain that took you some time to build a wall to
protect yourself from. In this world all we have is time, so you have
nothing to lose. You can love again and again and again and have fear
at the same time, it's okay, and besides, that's what shows love's true
colors. Love is scary and that's what makes it fun. If everything was
simple and always going with the flow, where's the fun in that? Just
like people deserve more than once chance, Love, the abstract feeling
does too. It's very not okay to feel unworthy and lonely and I'm sorry
if you feel that way. There are more than seven billion people in this
world, you can go look for that one person that makes you feel secure
and give love hope for the millionth time.
Who is love? Love is a friend (invisible or not), the weather, a
sister, a brother, a mother, a father, a guardian, an angel, God, a
place, a cousin, family, a hobby, a Muslim, a Christian, a Jew, a
song, a dance, a landscape, the sunset, a nurse, an animal, a plant, a
major, a school, a university, a pet, home, a girl, a boy, a wall,
art, music, an abstract feeling, a doctor, food, children, adults,
elders, black, white, brown, Caucasian, water, a friend of a friend,
scouts, a teacher, a therapist, a psychologist, a profession. It
doesn't even mater because as long as you have someone or something
that can make you happy that's all that matters. Why may you ask? I'll
tell you why. Because love isn't about sexism, racism, discrimination,
religion, feminism, patriarchal issues, or limitations, and there's
nothing to be ashamed of. Love is love.