Reach For the Stars [ NARRY FANFIC ]

Chapter 14 . Lonely

HARRYS POV

days went by, still alone. Still drinking. Still having my bad habits. Still me. I refilled my my empty glass with vodka. "Mate ya need to clean up" I heard from behind the door. Of course it was Grimmy. I chuckled as I chugged down the cold, burning alcohol. I filled it up once more.

"Harold, you cant just drink your problems away" Grimmy said. Being who I am, I took that the wrong way.

"Fuck off. Don't call me that" I said thinking of 'him' getting upset and then he'd call me that. My eyes were getting heavy as I didn't sleep for days. I couldn't sleep, if I slept I dreamed, and if I dreamed it was about him, then those dreams would lead to nightmares. "Just trying to help you" Grimmy said as he patted my back. I swatted his hand away.

"I don't need your fucking help! Or anyone else's ! I'm fine alone!" I shouted as I slammed my drink on the counter loudly. Grimmy backed up. Smart boy. I slurred around my ice in the drink And chomped on it.

"I'll catch you laterr" Grimmy said grabbing his coat. And with that he was gone. Alone. All fucking alone once again. I was a complete mess. I was a cruel monster. I didn't deserve love, or care. Fucks sakes I didn't deserve happiness. I ruined it all. I just wanted something to numb all the pain and sadness. That's why I drink and do the shit I do. "Fuck them" I mumbled to myself as I grabbed the empty glass bottle and shoved it in the sink. I walked over to the couch. Just sat. Staring at the wall, it was silent. And I hated it. I didn't want anyone near me. I didn't know what was happening with my mind. Some nights I'd be bashing things into the walls, and others I'd try to clean. But the first option happened daily. I would get triggered off by anything by now and just want to hurt and throw anything I saw. I looked around seeing glass and objects all over the wooden floor. I sighed. I did this all. All to myself.

I smashed my phone after I saw tons of missed messages or calls from friends or family. So now no one can contact me, and I like it that way. No sign of Gemma in a while which I'm glad.

'You can't just leave me, like I'm nothing to you. All the things we've been through together. And you just fucking forget about that all? Just give up on us, and especially yourself?!' Those words burnt deep down in my heart. Those where the last words he said. He came to get the rest of his things with Connor. I wanted to break down and just hug him. But I couldn't, it was too late. It was pathetic of me to watch him walk out on me. When I should be doing it to him.

'You kicked him out you prick' I reminded myself. I just wanted to keep him safe, he needs to understand. I was too much for him to many problems. To many things wrong with me. When he was normal, and actually had a life to live. I wanted to free him. To make him safer, and worry free.

I sighed again. I laid my body on the uncomfortable lonely couch. And tried to rest my eyes for a few minutes. I didn't want to sleep nor could I. Maybe if I rested my eyes for a few minutes I'd feel better.

NIALLS POV

I felt my body shift as I laid there in my bed. My eyes not opening, but my door did. "Honey?" My mums hushed tone. I squinted my eyes a bit. My eyes still soar and heavy from all the crying I did.

"You alright? You need anything?" She asked. I shook my head. She's been asking me this for 5 days straight. Obviously if I haven't came out of my bed in ages than no I'm not okay. "I love you my son, I'm making tea if you want to come out for some" she said, trying her best to get me up. I shook my head again. She sighed and looked disappointed. I didn't want to hurt her but I wasn't okay. I was terrible.

"Alrighty then. I'll check on you later" she said closing the door slowly. I closed my eyes again. Few more tears slipping at the thought of him. Ever since the last day I saw him, he wouldn't make eye contact or say a word to me. Being who I am had to say something or speak up. And I ruined it by blowing up on him. It caused more hurt on my end and I still regret saying that all but I spoke the truth.