Daisy

Chapter 23: Dear Joey

Joeys P.O.V

Dear Joey,

This is the story of my past, and why I am so broken.

I'm going to start with my childhood.....when I was younger, I didn't have a mother. Just a father, and at one point, a sister.

My mother left us with my father, and I remember thinking that it was for the best. I thought she only left because she couldn't take care of us. But that wasn't the case.

After she left, she had 3 children with another man, and she now has a happy little family. When i found this out, I started to believe my father when he called me worthless. My own mother didn't even want me. The only reason my father kept us was because we cooked and cleaned for him.

When I was younger, I spent a few summers with my grandmother who was a chef and she taught me how to cook. She died a while later and she was my last hope. When she died, I knew things could only get worse.

My father was a drug addict, and he was abusive.

My sisters name was Lilly, and she was one year younger then me. Every night when my father would come home, he would abuse us. But that's not all, he was a sick man, and when I was 12, he raped me. He continued to do so, until I was a teenager and was able to live on my own.

But when I was younger, me and Lilly couldn't do anything to protect ourselves. One night, he came home and he had too much to drink. He started to beat my sister and I.

I was stronger then her, and I survived. But she didn't. He beat her to death and then he blamed me for it.

I was 10 when she died.

For the longest time, I truly believed that it was my fault. I would cry myself to sleep every night. And since we never left the house, nobody even knew she was gone.

Her name died with her, and nobody ever knew who she was. After I had finally stopped blaming myself for her death, I became interested in learning.

I begged my dad to let me go to school, but he wouldn't allow it. So I taught myself how to read and write and to do math from books that my neighbor had given to me. That's the only reason that I'm educated.

I was 16 when one day when I came home from a walk, I saw my fathers body on the kitchen floor, his colorless expression, and his lifeless corpse. I knew he was dead, but I didn't shed a single tear over it.

I packed my belongings, and got a job at a small shop scooping ice cream. I made a friend there. His name was Brendon. He only stayed a while before moving away, leaving me behind.

I made enough money to survive and saved up until I could afford a small apartment.

One day while I was at work, a tall handsome man with dark hair came in. He introduced himself as Derek.

Long story short, we dated for a while, and when I tried to end things, he didn't want me to. He locked me in a closet until I promised that I would never leave him again.

After that, he took a knife, and carved his initials into my hip. He abused me, and sexually harassed me, for 11 years.

For 11 years, he would beat me, and rape me, and devour my soul. He would lock me in that closet almost every night. That's why I'm so afraid of small spaces now. That's why I had a break down on the elevator.

I also developed an eating disorder. Right now, i am 20 pounds underweight, and i still barley eat.

When I finally decided i had enough, I came up with a plan, and escaped here to LA.

On my first day here, I met a handsome man with beautiful green eyes. I swear, he could see straight through me with those eyes. His name was Joey, Joey Graceffa. And he saved me.

From day one, i knew i had fallen for him. And there is nothing stronger than my love for him.

When you first met me, you might have realized how in flinched when you touched my arm. That's because I was covered in bruises from the night before.

I can't sleep at night. I am haunted by my memories, and wake up screaming every night. But I could live with the nightmares. They were bearable, until they had you in them.

When I said that I hated you, and that I wanted you to leave me alone, I didn't mean it. I love you. If you would've been around me last night, he would have killed you. I had to stay away to keep you from getting hurt.

Like you said, I would set myself on fire, just to keep you warm.

After I told you to leave me alone, you visited me in my night mares. And he killed you. There was nothing I could do but watch. I couldn't do anything to stop him.

I was afraid that it would happen in real life, and if you were ever hurt, I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

I'm not afraid of Derek anymore. I'm only afraid of losing you, if he were to make me disappear.

I trust you. You are the only one that knows any of this. I've never trusted anyone. I've never loved anyone. I used to think I was incapable of doing such things. And I was. Until I met you.

I trust you. And I love you.

When i was a kid, i never had a safe place to land. I didn't have anyone. But you changed that. You made me feel like i wasn't worthless. You became my safe haven.

I know what your thinking "poor little girl she must live such a hard life" but I don't want you to pity me. I don't want you to treat me differently. I'm not as fragile as a china dish. My past is what has made me strong.

I hope you still feel the same about me after you have read this. And if not, I understand. But you deserved to know.

I will love you, Always and forever.

-Daisy

By the time I had finished reading the letter, I was balling my eyes out. I read it over again. And just sat there for a minute, processing it. I then jumped up and ran to my door.

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Later lovelies<3