Lost in the Mind

Everything Explained...Not

"What on earth is happening!?" I yell big and loud in the big, white dome. Avery looks at me in surprise from the corner of my eye as I look at my dad. He is adjusting his lab coat and looking at me wide eyed. "If I am not going to take any part of whatever is happening, then I am going to leave!" I say in anger and confusion. My loud voice rings in the room echoing with my sound. I have always had a great loud voice. My diaphragm never failed me. It was like when I was an infant in a mall in Folsom. Mom said that I screamed so loud that almost everybody on our level was looking at us. She had to take me out of the mall and bring me to the car to calm down. I was only an infant, who can blame me? My anger rang out in my head. What the heck is going on! Dad gently came up to me in his dashing lab coat.

"Calm down, everything will be explained." He put a hand on my shoulder, his voice was tender and fragile. I looked around the room and I saw the nurses, doctors and Avery looking at me very afraid. What can be explained? How can THIS be explained? I looked in Avery's eyes and saw fear in him. I know, he hasn't heard me scream like that before. My dad however, was no stranger to outbreaks with me. I walked out of my dad's slip grasp and walked to the edge of the door and just sat down. I was ready to cry. My knees close to my face and my legs dangerously close to my beating heart. I literally had nowhere to turn. My face leaned in between my knees and I started to sob softly.

Everyone in the room went silent and nobody moved. All I could hear was the beating of my own heart and the anger and confusion in my tears. I was just too emotional to figure this out. I need a nap. As my sobs started to simmer, I heard footsteps come up to me. I lifted my head and through my wet eyes I could see Avery's shoes. His legs bended to lean down to me and I could see his face.

"It'll be alright." His voice said with fear, but he was trying to sound brave. Quite the time to say everything will be alright when I know something is already wrong. He extended his hand and breathed in deeply and forcefully. "Please, allow us to guide you through this." He whispered in his might. I hesitated to grab his hand and allow him to hold me. My thoughts ran in my head as my eyes ran around the room. I finally just grabbed his hand. He lifted my body to make my feet plant on the ground. Once I found my stance, I immediately and rashly let go of his soft hand and started to wipe off the remains of my tears.

Dad came toward me, hands in his pockets and sighed helplessly. "I am so sorry to put you through all of this pressure. There was nobody else that Avery wanted to have help him." Help him? "I know this might come as a shock to you but you must listen to me every step of the way. Do you understand me?" Dad's voice became powerful, something that I haven't heard unless he was mad at me for something at home. I nodded my head, scared about what will come next. What did I do? Am I being punished? Is that what that big machine is for?

"When you met Avery, it was by chance. He didn't just move here because his mom needed a job. This was both true and misleading. There was a recent development in his life that caused his whole family to move here," His breath started to dissolve until he finally found his words. "He has Stage 4 brain cancer," I gasped at the truth and the whole thing rang in my head over and over again. Back in Freshman year we had a whole project and lesson on different kinds of cancer. I just didn't know that this was happening with my friend. "When he figured that he had this diagnosis at first with stage 3 brain cancer. His Mom didn't have the money to pay for the immediate treatments. So, they moved to River City. His mom tried to get a job but she failed to get enough money, and Avery's brain cancer got worse by the day. When he met you, he felt that you really cared for him enough to sabotage another student," He winked at me when he said that. I felt a knot in my stomach and crawl up my throat. Gosh Avery, why did you tell my dad that? Now I am really done for. "As weeks went by it went from bad to worse.