The Road to....Somewhere???

I Messed Everything Up

Ashley's p.o.v.

"Sarah?" 

In the half a second it took me to realize it was Sarah, not Logan, my mind had a million thoughts running through it. The main one, though, is why. Why her, why now? I really thought it was Logan. Just then, I hear the bathroom door open, and I see her. Logan, in all her glory, looking at Sarah and I. It took that for me to come out of my daze, and push Sarah off of me. By then, it was too late, though. I could see the wheels turning in Logan's head. I saw her turning to leave.

"Logan, wait. Please don't go." I said, walking over to the door. She turned around, and I did the only thing I could think of at the moment. I kissed her. I wrapped my arms around her, and kissed her with every ounce of me. I didn't figure she would listen to me, but I was hoping she would listen to this. At least long enough to let me actually speak to her. I pulled away from her, slightly breathless. "Please, don't leave. Let me explain. Actually, we can let her explain."

I turn around and see Sarah looking at us, wide eyed, and maybe hurt. I couldn't really tell. My arm was around Logan's waist, hoping to keep her close. 

"Care to explain what that was all about, Sarah?" Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Logan flinch as the realization hit at who this person was. 

"I, well, uhh, I missed you?" It came out as a question. 

"What the fuck? You left me, months ago. I haven't heard a word from you this whole time. You think you can just walk up to me, put your arms around me, and everything would be ok? Well, let me tell you, it's not. I don't love you, or want you." I was beyond pissed. What if this messed up what I had with Logan. It couldn't. 

"We had ten years, Ashley. You can't tell me that you didn't feel something just a minute ago. I saw the smile on your face when you turned around." Sarah was pleading.

"Did you not notice it leave my face when I looked at you? I was smiling because I thought it was Logan. She was the only one that was supposed to be that close to me. I don't feel anything for you anymore. I love Logan." Shit. That was not suppose to come out of my mouth. At least, not in front of Logan. What do I need Sarah to screw things up for. I could do that all on my own. I turn to face Logan. She is looking at me with a look I can't decipher. Shit, shit, shit. 

"You, y-you love me?" She asks, looking scared as hell. That was the look. I hung my head, red as could be, wishing the floor would swallow me whole.

"Umm, yeah, well, this wasn't exactly the way you were suppose to hear it."

"Fuck you Ashley." Sarah stormed out of the bathroom, leaving me alone with Logan. 

She was just staring at me, and I couldn't take it anymore. I needed her to say something. Scream, cry, run away, any reaction. 

"Please, say something. Do something. Anything. Please." I'm begging her, and she is just standing there. And here I thought that her walking in on me and my ex in a compromising position was going to be the biggest hurdle we would be jumping tonight.

"I, just, well....Ahh, fuck it." I saw a hundred emotions cross her face with the six words she just muttered. With that said, though, she leaned into me, and kissed me. Kissed me like, well, she loved me too. I was confused, but was not about to pull away. Have you ever just wanted time to stop, so you could just stay in one moment forever? This was my time. I didn't want to worry about what she was thinking, or what was going to happen when this kiss finally ended. I just wanted to stay right like this, forever.

Unfortunately, the world does not work that way. This kiss did end. Not for a while, but it did. Then, we were left breathless, and for me, utterly confused. I had known almost instantly that I loved this woman. It was never my intent to tell her, though, at least not this soon. And it was too soon. I knew this in my head, but my heart didn't much care what my head was saying. My heart had been doing this a lot since I met Logan. It did not listen to my brain at all. It even told my brain to fuck off a few times.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that. It just kinda slipped out. I don't want you weirded out or anything. I really don't want this, us, to stop. Please don't be mad at me." I couldn't stop rambling. "Can we just forget this for now? Can we just stay the same as we are?"

"No. I don't think so, Ashley. You really think I could just forget that you love me? That is not even a possibility."

Damn it all to hell.

I messed everything up.