The Road to....Somewhere???

I Was Born To Love This Woman

Ashley's p.o.v.

I'm really not sure what I'm feeling now.

After finishing our dinner, and talking some about what could possibly be done about Lindsey, we had come home. Now, she is showering, and I'm just lying on the bed, thinking about the evening. She had lied to me, again. Don't get me wrong. I totally understand her history, and all that life had thrown her way. The thing of it is, though, is that life had thrown just as much shit at me. Lying was not a part of me, regardless of what had happened. 

Was I just supposed to let this go? In the past, that is all I had ever done. Just let shit slide. Never wanting to rock the boat, for fear of fighting, or being left alone. After Sarah left, the fear of being alone had subsided. I knew I could be alone, and be just fine. Being with someone merely to say I wasn't alone was a thing of the past. 

If she truly loved me, like she said, why would she feel a need to lie to me, again? Honesty should just be part of love, and being in a relationship with another person. Trying to figure out why so many people had issues with that, had plagued me for years. Now, I was once again faced with loving someone, but no longer being able to fully trust them.

Once trust had been gained, it was given fully. Once it was broken, it was even harder to get back. Sometimes, getting it back wasn't even an option. I was sitting there, just trying to sort everything out, when I was pulled out of my thoughts by Logan. She had sat down next to me, and spoken, before I had even realized she was there.

"What was that?" I asked, inquiring about what I had just missed.

"I asked if everything was ok." She said, a worried expression on her face.

"I'm fine." Bury it. My decision, as usual.

"You don't look fine. Talk to me, please. Is this about earlier? I know she seems crazy, but I really don't think Lindsey will do much of anything. She will get bored really quickly, and move on." She put a hand on my cheek, trying to be reassuring.

"I'm sure you're right." It was all I could say without everything else I was feeling just coming out. I wasn't ready for that conversation right now. Maybe never. 

"Are you sure that's all that's wrong baby?" She assumed she was right about what was wrong with me. I simply let her go on thinking that.

"My leg is killing me, to be honest." Not a lie. It really was. 

As soon as the words were out, she was getting up, and headed to the kitchen for my medicine. Though I didn't like her lying to me, I knew she loved me. More than I had ever been loved by another. 

Maybe she just didn't know any better on how to love.

Was it going to be worth it, though, at the end of the day?

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Logan's p.o.v.

Something wasn't right.

Ashley said she was fine, and that it was just her knee hurting that was making her all weird. I had other suspicions. When I had gotten out of the shower, she was completely out of it. She didn't even acknowledge my existence until I was say next to her, and forcing her to pay attention to me. She never was like that. The second I walked into a room, her eyes found me. 

On my way to the kitchen to get her some pain pills, I wondered. Wondered if she really was ok. Wondered if she was upset about Lindsey showing up. Wondered if she was really pissed because I hadn't been honest from the beginning of the whole situation. Again. I couldn't tell right now. Usually, she was an open book to me. Tonight, things were different. If she is mad about my lying, I wasn't sure what I was gonna do. That's the only real issue, that doesn't have an easy fix button. 

How do I fix something if I don't know what I'm supposed to be fixing? Well, actually, no matter what was going on in her head I did know where I had fucked up, and I was going to try and fix it. Somehow. 

Taking the medicine back upstairs, I was still trying to figure out what to do. How to make this whole situation right again. I didn't want to lose Ashley. Losing her would be soul crushing. Finally finding my forever, just to lose it so quickly because I was a fucking idiot, would be more than I think I could handle. 

"Here you go baby." I put the pills in her hand, and handed her a glass of water to wash it down. 

"Thanks." She offered, after swallowing the pills down.

"No problem babe. Can I get you anything else? Anything I can do to make you feel better?" My hand was making its way up her thigh, rubbing gently. Seeing her, touching her, always had me wanting her. She obviously had different thoughts.

"No. I'm good. Just need to sleep. Will you lay with me? Hold me?" She looked on the verge of tears. Wow. I really fucked up. 

"Of course my love. I would do anything for you. Anything." Leaning in, I kissed her. She seemed hesitant at first, but it didn't take long for her to kiss back. 

Lying down with her, wrapping my arms around her, I came to one conclusion that would make me do anything to make things right between Ashley and I.

I was born to love this woman.