The Road to....Somewhere???

What Was I Gonna Do?

Logan's p.o.v.

I had my arms around her.

Ashley was at work, thinking about me no doubt, and I was holding my thieving, abusive, apparent druggie, ex. What in the hell was I doing? And yet, I didn't stop. I couldn't explain it, but I didn't stop, and didn't really want to. What did that mean?

I wasn't quite sure, but I knew that I wasn't letting go yet. I was going to stay right where I was, doing just what I was doing. This woman in my arms had been important to me at one point in my life, and turning my back on her while she was hurting didn't seem to be an option. Why wasn't it? I had no answer to this question. 

So I just stood there, arms around Lindsey, doing my very best to comfort her. She cried, and I held. Everything was interrupted by the ringing of my phone. I recognized the ring tone. It was Ashley. This brought reality crashing down on me. Thinking about Ashley, and having her put in my face, were two different things. This was all I needed to break the embrace.

"Hey baby." I answered the phone, trying to not sound to off.

"Hey sexy. What's wrong?" This was Ashley. I should have known I couldn't fool her. She was to perceptive, to aware, of all of me. It was usually an amazing feeling. Right now, it was a little irritating. I didn't know what I was going to say to her.

"Nothing at all. Just having a rough day today. How's your day going?" I wanted focus off of me. 

"It's been a pretty good first day back. My leg is a little sore, for using it more than I'm used to, but it's good for it, I know. So, anyways, enough about that. I called to see if you wanted to meet me for an early dinner when you got off? Maybe have a couple drinks before we went home." Damn. What was I going to say. I'm pretty sure this thing with Lindsey is going to take more than the small amount of time we had spent in my office. 

"Can I call you a bit closer to time? I'm not really sure as to when I am going to be getting out of here. We are having some issues, and I may be late." I was lying to Ashley, and it hurt my heart. This should have been a red flag, telling me to stop, but I couldn't. 

"Well, yeah, of course baby. That's fine. I'm sorry it's been a bad day. You just let me know. If not, I'll have something else planned for you for when you do get home. How about that?"

"That sounds great Ashley. Thank you for understanding. I will call you as soon as I know what's going on here. I love you."

"Love you too, Logan. Talk to you soon. Bye baby."

"Bye." And the conversation was done. I hung up my phone, and looked at Lindsey for the first time since the phone call had started. The look on her face was one of heartbreak.

"So, there's someone else?" She asked quietly.

"Yes, there is." No way to deny it or anything. I'm glad I didn't have the chance to. Who knows what I would have done or said if she had asked that question without the confirmation of the call.

"And you love her?" She was barely whispering now.

"Yeah, I do. I love her like I've never loved another person." Might as well be totally honest. I couldn't imagine my life without Ashley, no matter what my feelings for Lindsey were right now. "You shouldn't have come. I don't need this. I don't need to be confused. My life is going so well now. I don't wanna mess that up."

"But you loved me at one time too. I know you did. I know I messed up big time, but I also know I didn't mistake that look on your face a few minutes ago, or the way you held me while I was crying. There is something here. I know it."

"I can't lie about that either. You showing back up has opened up a place in me that I thought I had closed for good. But Ashley loves me. She loves me like you never did. I can't chance losing what I know I have with her, for something that I don't even know if I want. I know I want Ashley." It felt good saying these things. The confusion I had felt when Lindsey first arrived was fading. I was certain of Ashley. I knew that was where my heart belonged. I had just had to put my mind in the right place to know that. 

"I think you're wrong. I'm not going anywhere. I'm gonna get you back. Show you just how things should be, with me. I love you, and I'm sorry it took me so long to get to this place in my life. You are my future." And with that, she was gone. 

What did she mean by all of that?

What was I gonna do?