Sempiternal ♢ Jicheol

사십 칠 • certainty

Part two of 'Doubts'. I suggest you read the first part so you'll be able to understand this one. ^^

My heart can't handle Jicheol angst. ><

*

"Why are you still up?" Seungcheol asked as he saw Jihoon sitting on the sofa, staring blankly at nothing.

"Sit down, Cheollie. Let's have a talk." He said in a monotone voice. Seungcheol immediately obeyed and sat down. He was having goosebumps because whenever Jihoon invites someone to "have a talk", it means one thing: no good.

He was bouncing his right leg out of nervousness and his palm was sweating. He couldn't stop himself from biting his lower lip as Jihoon looked at him.

"Tell me the truth, Seungcheol. You don't love me anymore, do you?" Jihoon asked. He expected Seungcheol to say no. He expected him to say that it was a misunderstanding and he loves him to death. But all of his expectations were shattered as he saw the look on Seungcheol's face.

There he confirmed that he now lost the Seungcheol he loved the most. The older was about to reply when he got cut off by Jihoon.

"I know everything, Seungcheol. Don't you even dare deny it or come up with a lame ass excuse saying that he's just a friend or something. You wouldn't kiss your friends on the lips, right? You wouldn't spend all your love and time on them, hugging and making out, leaving your boyfriend alone to suffer."

Jihoon couldn't hold back anymore. His tears started to flow freely, his cheeks now stained. He can feel his heart shattering to pieces. It hurts like fucking hell to know that your partner is cheating on you while you were loyal as fuck. That's so unfair. He could barely breath as he was sobbing too much.

"I thought you didn't love me anymo—"

"No, Seungcheol. Don't you fucking dare doubt my love for you. I love you. I love you so fucking much it hurts. You were the person I have ever been with this long, and now it's all gone. I do love you... but I just don't trust you anymore, and love is nothing without trust." Jihoon smiled bitterly at him.

He couldn't stand sitting in front of him or he would totally break down and lose himself. He stood up and was about to walk away when Seungcheol grabbed his hand.

"It doesn't have to be this way.. I don't want to lose you.." Seungcheol said with his head bowed down, not even daring to look at Jihoon.

"You should've thought of that before you grabbed that person's waist and kissed him full on the lips." Jihoon removed Seungcheol's hand and turned his back on him. "Good bye, Cheol."

He immediately dashed out of the house and started walking away. He didn't mind that he was just wearing a shirt and sweatpants even though it was already night time and it was so damn cold. His walk turned into jogs until it turned into running.

He was sobbing all the way until he couldn't run anymore. He sat down on the sidewalk and bawled his eyes out. He cried his heart out, remembering all their good memories. Those times when they would do nothing and snuggle with each other, their first kiss, their dates and those times when Seungcheol would reassure him that he's the only one for him.

It hurts to know that the person you trusted the most would also do something to break your trust. Jihoon felt shattered. He felt so hollow and empty.

The boy was just staring straight ahead with tears still rolling down his cheeks. It felt like he was numb, he couldn't feel anything.

No pain, no sadness, no anger. Just emptiness.  

----------

Tell me what you think!