The Song Of Seattle

Compromising Position

The awkward tension in this vehicle is swallowing me alive. I can't take the silence and the feeling of Brandon's angry eyes glaring a hole into the back of my head. We had been driving for quite sometime now, but I stopped judging time by hours and started judging it by states. We were currently in Iowa which means we'll be in Illinois in no time, and then the countdown to Indiana begins.

I jab my finger on the radio to play my mix tape just to alleviate some of the awkward silence. Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons start playing, and I temporarily lose myself in the song. That is until Brandon's voice snaps my attention back to the car.

"Does your mom know I'm coming? Should you let her know sometime before we arrive that you're bringing a strange boy home." He asks sounding just a little bit hopeful that I would actually respond. He's out of luck.

"It's no new thing. Syd, bring boys home all the time." Michaela responded looking back at Brandon. When she faced the front I saw that victorious glint in her eyes.

I don't bring boys home, like ever, but if Michaela wants to try and make Brandon jealous I'm not going to stop her. I caught sight of him from the rearview mirror, and he looks very contemplative. Good. Let him stew on that.

"Hey, can you go ahead and text my mom to let her know?" I said quietly so only Michaela could hear. She chuckled and reached for my phone.

"Oh, hey. Vannah, texted you. She said that she'll show up sometime tomorrow." She informed me casually. I heard her typing away to let my mom know about Brandon.

I regret allowing him to come with us. It has put a real damper on the whole mood of the trip, and it will continue to ruin the next three weeks. Behind my anger at what he said to me, there was a well of sadness. It's one thing to think something negative about yourself, but it's a whole other feeling to have someone you care about confirm it.

"Can we stop somewhere so I can shit?" Michaela asked unashamed. I think she must have been ignoring Brandon so hard that she forgot he was there.

"Oh my God. Yeah, I'll pull over at the next gas station." I said between laughs and I heard laughter coming from the backseat as well.

It was dark and pretty much deserted on the freeway, so I took my opportunity easily when we came across a Save-A-Step. I pulled in and parked the car, and Michaela took that as her opportunity to leave the car. I pushed my seat back as far as it could go, laid back, and closed my eyes. I know how long it takes Michaela to use the restroom, so I'm making myself comfortable.

I felt Brandon's large hands tug on my bun from the backseat. Still I continued to ignore him. Talking to him would just be too awkward. I'm choosing between awkward silence or awkward conversation.

"Are you seriously not going to talk to me for three whole weeks? I can't go that long without hearing your voice." He said in a jokingly whiny way.

"You can hear it when I talk to everyone else except for you." I shot back keeping my eyes closed.

"I just want to talk about this morning." He said in a calm voice.

"I thought we already talked about that. You're just the guy that tried to be a friend, and I'm the psycho delusional chick who misinterpreted. Did I forget something? Oh right, I'm also a morally bankrupt slut who steals boyfriends. That's all." I said back in a weirdly passionate deadpanned voice.

"Syd..." He started to talk, but I unfortunately I wouldn't allow him the chance.

"Maybe if the boyfriend was actually a boyfriend he wouldn't be so easily stolen. It's funny that you use the word boyfriend when you want to avoid intimacy, but when you feel like flirting with me and fucking with my emotions then you're just a 'friend with benefits'. Doesn't that seem convenient?" I said in a voice that implied that I was done playing with him.

"Are you done?" He said quietly.

"Maybe." I said back immaturely.

"Okay, will you look me in the eyes while we have a conversation?" He asked me trying to keep his annoyance with me contained.

"I don't want to look at you. I'm trying to keep my dinner down, not throw it up." I said back keeping my eyes closed.

"If you don't look at me, I'll crawl over the console and sit right next to you so that you're forced to." He threatened.

"Go for it. You're too tall so it won't work." I responded calmly. He won't get a reaction out of me.

Next thing I know I see his slim leg across the console as he braces himself using my shoulder. He was grunting in frustration trying to fit across the console. He tried to make a move to put his other leg over and it ended with him falling on top of me in the reclined seat. Luckily, he caught himself with his hands so all of his weight didn't crush me. However; he was hovering over me and his face was extremely close. I turned my face to look out the window so as to avoid making eye contact with him. He put his hand on my cheek and gently pulled my face from the window so that I was face to face with him.

"So, technically this is a mission accomplished." He said in a whisper.

I actually did laugh at that, and with every subsequent giggle I felt the tension between us dissipate.

"I'm sorry, okay? I win biggest asshole award for the day, potentially for life because of how I treated you this morning." He said looking deeply into my eyes.

"No. I mean, yeah you were an asshole, but I probably did miscontrue things. I promise I won't try and kiss on you anymore." I said rolling my eyes and laughing at the moment. I had officially moved passed it and was glad that we could get along again.

"Actually you-" He started but was interrupted by Michaela rapping on the window.

"I guess I'll just sit in the back since you two made up. Thank God. I need a fucking nap." She said moving to the backseat.

Brandon just snickered and removed himself from on top of me, taking a seat next to me. We all three spent our last hours in the car joking (mostly at Michaela's expense) and talking about our plans for the next three weeks. We'd be there shortly, and at this time both of the occupants in my car were fast asleep. All I had time to do was lose myself in my thoughts. Brandon was about to say something when Michaela showed up, and it sucks that I didn't get to hear what it was. It isn't often that he is willing to tell me the honest truth about how he is feeling. We share that in common. I do know one thing that I have learned from today, I will never again be the one to initiate anything with him. I need to put that wall back up because I let it down for one moment this morning and nearly destroyed our friendship.

If he wants me, he'll be making the first move from now on.

A.N. The song on the banner is Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You by Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons. It's a classic so everyone should take a listen and fall in love with it.