Dear God (Avenged Sevenfold)

But I left her when I found her

Even though Natalie swore she was going back home right away, she found herself on the beach the next morning with Ava, soaking up the hot summer sun while Bryleigh played quietly on the towel in between them. The sun was relentless but felt good on Natalie's skin as she slathered more sunscreen on her daughter's fair skin while Ava propped up the large beach umbrella to shade her. For the longest time there was a comfortable silence between the friends, between watching the surfers and watching Bryleigh shriek happily at the sea gulls that ventured close they had no reason to talk. Natalie knew that Ava had things on her mind that she wanted to get out but for some reason her usually vocal best friend was silent, checking her phone now and then. Natalie figured it was Todd, checking in how things were going and whatnot and she couldn't help but feel a pang of loneliness in her gut. Ever since her parents had died she had felt completely alone in the world with the exception of Ava and now Bryleigh, they were all she had left and the thought that her daughter was battling a potentially life threatening illness was enough to make her physically ill.

Natalie was so engrossed with her own thoughts that she didn't pay attention to anyone around them, that is until two large shadows blocked the sun from hitting them. "What the hell?" Natalie muttered, slowly opening her eyes and looking up, immediately wishing she hadn't. "What are you doing here?!" Natalie snapped her words at Brian as he stood before her, his hands crammed into his swim trunks and a look on his face that spelled out STUPID IDIOT. "Can we talk?" he muttered in a tone that sounds almost miserable. Good, Natalie thought as she glared at him, he should feel miserable! Natalie was just getting ready to tell him to fuck off when she realized Ava was getting to her feet and talking quietly with Matt. "Where are you going?!" Natalie stated in a startled tone, oh she knew damn well how the guys appeared in front of them now. Ava must have messaged Matt and told him where they were...and now Ava was leaving with Matt. Ava squatted down to kiss Bryleigh's head before leaning over to kiss Natalie's cheek, whispering in her ear at the same time "Hear him out okay? Let the big ass apologize before you drown him."

Natalie couldn't help but to smile at that statement as she watched Ava walk off with Matt. "Can I sit down or are you going to shove that umbrella up my ass?" Natalie glared up at Brian for a split second before sighing and motioning to him to sit where Ava had just been. "If it weren't for the fact that it's shielding my daughter from the sun I probably would shove it straight up your ass." Brian chuckled as he sat down in the sand, stretching his legs out in front of him. Natalie's mouth dropped open in shock as she watched Bryleigh crawl right over to Brian and pull herself up into his lap, her eyes on his face the entire time. "Hi kiddo" he mumbled softly to her, looking totally uneasy with a toddler perched on his lap. Bryleigh smiled her biggest smile at him before saying 'hi' in her cute little babble. Natalie watched in amazement as her usually man-shy baby warmed right up to Brian, her little fingers poking at the large 'FOREVER' tattoo splayed across his chest.

Brian hadn't been prepared for Natalie's daughter to warm up to him like she was and it made his gut feel funny...in a good way. He would be lying if he said he didn't feel a stab of happiness as she crawled into his lap and scooted close, her little fingers poking at his tattoo but when she laid her head down against his chest he couldn't help but smile fiercely. "Is she always this friendly?" he asked cautiously, he could tell Natalie was still flaming pissed at him and rightfully so...he had been a prick last night. Natalie shook her head, her eyes on her daughter for a minute "No never...at least not with men. She won't even warm up to Ava's fiancé...and he's been around since she was born!" Brian again felt a weird sense of gloating at the fact that he got this tiny little human to warm right up to him with no effort on his part. "Should I take this as a compliment then?" he stated, looking down at Bryleigh. He had been such a fool last night, looking at her here in the natural light was like looking at baby pictures of himself. Her face was rounder and she had more curls to her hair but there was absolutely no denying it...this kid was his. "Yes you should take that as a compliment...as much as that may irk me. She seems to just know..." Natalie trailed off, pulling her eyes away from her daughter as she snuggled up against Brian's bare chest.

"Listen Natalie...I'm sorry for the way I reacted last night. I just had a lot thrown at me and I blew up." Natalie looked at him for a minute, trying to gauge if he was sincere or not when he continued talking. "I never planned on having kids...as you stated you knew from interviews. So I got defensive and stupid but can I ask you something? Even if you knew that why didn't you at least attempt to contact me and tell me? I still don't know if I like the whole 'daddy' title but it's there and it's not going away. At least I could have had more time to process the idea...and I missed out on so much already. How old is she even? Three?" Natalie laughed, tears threatening to fill her eyes at all the emotions flowing between them. "She's 17 months old Brian! And I didn't contact you because I was scared and afraid...plus you would have denied it just like you did last night." Brian started to open his mouth to argue with her when he realized she was 100% correct, he would have flown off the handle, called her a liar and a gold digger.

They sat there in silence for a few moments, both lost in their own thoughts when Bryleigh shrieked happily and climbed off Brian's lap, struggling to walk through the sand after a few friendly sea gulls. "BIRDIE! BIRDIE!" she squealed, her giggles growing as the birds approached her and then retreated, not sure what to think of the tiny human coming at them. "Bryleigh Ava Johnston come back here!" Natalie called out but Brian was already on his feet, going after her, no, THEIR daughter. Natalie felt her heart swell as he scooped her up and tossed her lightly in the air, saying something to her that Natalie couldn't hear. Brian brought her back, sitting her back on her towel rather awkwardly before sitting back down, this time a little closer to Bryleigh. "Should she be out in the sun like that? I mean will she burn or anything?" Natalie shook her head and explained that she kept her well coated with sunscreen and under the umbrella. "Plus she has this totally cute hat to hide under, don't you pretty momma?" Natalie cooed as she plopped a white lacey sun bonnet on her head.

"Where did you come up with the name Bryleigh?" he asked all of the sudden. Natalie debated on whether she wanted to tell him or not before sighing. "It's a combination of your name and mine" she stated softly, averting her eyes away from Brian's penetrating brown ones. "I thought if anything she would have a unique name with a story attached to it." Brian took a moment to process this information before smiling "I like that, it's bad ass. Listen...I really want to make amends with you. Can I take you out to dinner tonight? You and OUR daughter? And you can tell me more about this sickness she has and how I can help...and maybe fill me in on her life a little?" Natalie could tell this was new territory for Brian, admitting vulnerability and emotions and she found herself smiling softly "I think we could manage that."