Dear God (Avenged Sevenfold)

And now I wished I'd stayed

Natalie felt torn every time her phone rang late at night now...she knew it was Brian but each time she couldn't muster the courage to answer it, she was too upset still to talk to him. She wasn't sure what had been said between Ava's father, Benjamin and Brian but she had to deduce that Benjamin was the reason for Brian trying to get cozy with her...he had to have threatened him on some level and made Brian feel he needed to do the right thing. She had to formulate a way to talk to him about things without losing her edge, she didn't want to admit to him or herself that she believed they could have a happy ending...there would be none of that now.

It was shortly after the 4th of July when Natalie received a check in the mail from Brian for a ridiculous amount. There was no note in the envelope, just a check for $5,000.00 Natalie felt her hackles rise and her anger bubble over as she walked into her condo with Bryleigh fast asleep on her shoulder. She laid her daughter down on the couch, careful not to wake her before returning to the insulting envelope. Part of her wanted to rip the check into little shreds but she felt that was too childish, instead she sealed the envelope back up, wrote RETURN TO SENDER on the front and the next day when she dropped Bryleigh off at daycare, the envelope made its way back to California...she didn't want Brian's pity money.

A week later she was struggling under a heavy work load at work when her phone rang for the umpteenth time today, sending her frustration levels through the roof. "Pyramid Records this is Natalie, how may I direct your call?" she bit out each word, silently cursing as papers fluttered to the ground. "Jesus Natalie why have you been avoiding my phone calls?!" Natalie felt her blood run cold at Brian's voice, cursing herself for giving her work number in case of an emergency. "I'm busy Brian, I cannot talk right now." and with all the courage she had in her, she hung up. Bending over, she picked up the papers she dropped, banging her head on the underside of her desk when the phone rang again. "Pyramid Records this is Natalie, how may I direct your call?"

"Don't hang up on me Nat, I'll just keep calling back" Brian stated cautiously, a bit of anger at the edge of his words. Natalie struggled to control her temper, turning her back to her desk to give her a small sense of privacy. "Listen, I have no desire to get into this with you. I thank you for what you did for my daughter but," "OUR daughter Natalie...OUR daughter" Brian cut in. Natalie rolled her eyes, gritted her teeth and continued in a low voice. "I don't need your 'sense of obligation' money. I've been able to take care of her just fine on my own and I will continue to do so." "Jesus Nat what the hell is this all about?" Natalie felt hysterical laughter threatening to bubble over...he really was going to act like he had no clue! "Why don't you ask your pal Benjamin Reynolds what this is all about" and with that she hung up on him again.

Almost immediately, her phone rang again and she couldn't help herself this time. "Dammit Brian leave me alone!" she yelled into the phone. A moment of silence had her regretting answering her work phone that way. "Ms. Johnston? This is Carly...at the daycare..." Natalie felt relief that it wasn't a client of Pyramid Records but quickly felt fear take hold. "What is it?" she stated cautiously, gripping the receiver tightly. "Something is wrong with Bryleigh...she became really listless after playing outside, her temperature is elevated and I can't get it to go down. She's thrown up a few times and I can't get her to talk to me." Natalie grabbed her keys and purse lightening fast, yelling into the receiver that she would be right there before slamming the phone down. She didn't even bother telling her boss she was leaving two hours early, she just ran to her car, threw it in reverse and sped out of the parking lot and onto the highway like the devil himself was after her.

She reached the daycare in record time, flying into the building and rushing right over to the little nurses station they had. Bryleigh lay almost limp on the cot, her face flushed red but her arms and legs cold and clammy. Natalie knew she had to get her to the hospital fast, scooping her daughter up carefully she begged Carly to call Dr. Alpine for her to alert him that she was going to be coming into the ER. Once again she was flying down the highway, stealing glances in the mirror with the hopes that her daughter would wake up and smile at her but she remained unconscious, her little head drooped to the side and the tip of her tongue hanging out.

No sooner did she arrive at the ER, than she had Dr. Alpine and three other specialists rushing towards her, taking Bryleigh from her before rushing off to a room in the ICU, forcing Natalie to stay back temporarily with Dr. Alpine as he asked her a million and ten questions. She answered them as best as she could but with each passing minute she grew more and more frantic till she broke down in tears, begging to see her baby. "Natalie I know this is a scary moment but I assure you they are taking the utmost care of your daughter right now. I will come get you as soon as we have her stabilized and out of testing. Till then I suggest you call her father and get him here ASAP. I think she's having a relapse from the transplant and he may need to donate again."

Natalie felt bile rise in her throat at everything she had thrown at her but choked it back, digging her phone out of her purse and dialing the number by heart. As soon as the other end answered, she was sobbing, falling down into a hard plastic chair in the waiting room. "Ava oh my god! I need you at the hospital...oh god it's Bryleigh!" she wailed, her fear overtaking her. Ava, who was in the middle of a meeting with her high profile client and Todd, grabbed her purse and took off without a word, trying to soothe Natalie as best as she could before she threw herself into her car and took off speeding, hoping to god that her goddaughter was going to be okay...