Dear God (Avenged Sevenfold)

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line

     It had been a week since Natalie and Bryleigh had arrived in California and she had to admit to herself, she was enjoying the feeling of being a family with Brian. They had made several trips to the beach with Bryleigh, gone shopping downtown and made a few trips to the park where Brian pushed Bryleigh in the swing for what seemed like hours. Natalie tried not getting too attached to the idea of all of it but the more days that passed, the more she was considering moving to California permanently. The only thing that kept her from doing it was Ava, Ava who hadn't seemed right since she came out here. She brought her concerns to Brian the other night and while he was sympathetic and listened as they sat outside drinking, he also brought up a valid point.

     "Nat I'm not trying to sway your decision to move out here but think about this..." Brian took a swig of beer before turning to her more, putting his hand over hers. "When Ava and whats-his-name get married then what? You're not gonna be able to run to her for everything...she's gonna have her own life to live and as cruel as this sounds, you're not gonna be number 1 in it anymore." Natalie frowned sadly, nodding her head because she knew Brian was right. More than once she had heard Todd talk about travelling abroad, possibly moving back to Boston where he was from and opening their own law firm and other things that always made Natalie feel utterly alone. Maybe Brian was right, maybe their time together was drawing to a close and while she would always love Ava, she knew that she would have to part ways once the wedding was over.

     Natalie felt a huge relief the next morning when she finally got ahold of Ava, talking to her quietly about the appointment with the specialist to talk about options for Bryleigh should she relapse again. "Natalie...do you really think it's wise to have another baby right now? I know you said Brian would help financially but are you sure YOU can handle two small kids by yourself?" Natalie knew she was looking out for her and felt horrible for keeping Brian's suggestion to move out to California to herself but she didn't want to pile on stress to Ava's already heaping plate of stress. "I don't know what else to do though Ava...if Bryleigh has another relapse it could kill her." Natalie's voice was strained and foreign to her as she said those words but she remembered all too well Dr. Alpine's warning the last time they were in the ICU. "Brian said he will continue to give as many samples as he can but if her body is rejecting them then a siblings blood and plasma from the umbilical cord is her best hope."

     Ava sighed softly "I know honey...I just want what's best for both of you. I have to go now. Let me know how the appointment goes. Love you both." and before Natalie could even respond,  she heard dial tone in her ear again...something was definitely bothering Ava but no matter what Natalie did she couldn't get Ava to open up. "Nat, you ready?" Brian called out, standing in the doorway to the backyard with Bryleigh on his arm. Natalie put on a fake smile and walked over, taking her daughter and kissing her dark curls. "As ready as I'll ever be."

     Brian couldn't help but wonder what was eating Natalie as they drove the long distance to the specialist. She hadn't said much since they hit the highway and he hoped it wasn't anything bad, he felt like they had made great progress and he didn't want any setbacks that might send her running back to Florida. They walked into the huge building in silence, his hand at her back as he ushered her to the bank of elevators that would take them up to the 6th floor. "Hi princess" he whispered softly, smiling as Bryleigh slowly woke up and reached for him. Natalie handed her over without hesitation, her face unreadable as they excited the elevators and headed down a long hall. "Nat wait" he stated softly, taking Natalie's elbow gently and pulling her back to him. "What's wrong?"

     Natalie shook her head, her eyes downcast "Nothing...everything. I'm just scared Brian, that's all." Before he could even open his mouth to ask her what all was wrong, she was pushing open the door to the office and stepping inside. Brian sighed heavily, adjusting Bryleigh on his arm as he followed Natalie inside and up to the receptionist desk. After several minutes of waiting in the empty waiting room they were lead into a large spacious office to await the doctors arrival. Bryleigh settled on Brian's lap, drinking from her sippy cup slowly as she kicked her feet while Brian and Natalie sat yet again in silence. Before long the doctor came strolling in, a pleasant smile on his face as he introduced himself as Doctor Jonas. "Now tell me all about Miss Bryleigh here... I understand she's had some troubles with accepting your bone marrow Mr. Haner." Brian nodded his head, frustrated at that sentence alone before Natalie began the tedious process of telling the story of how their daughter got sick and everything that had lead up to this point.

LATER THAT NIGHT

     "Good night princess" Brian whispered to Bryleigh, smiling as she nodded off in her crib, her thumb slack in her lips as she clung to her bear. Brian stepped into the master bedroom, searching for Natalie. The room was dark but the moonlight afforded him enough light to show him that she was sitting out on the balcony sipping coffee. Brian sighed heavily and stepped out behind her, his hands going to her shoulders as he slowly began rubbing the tense muscles under his fingers. "Talk to me Nat" he stated quietly, looking down at the top of her head as he kneaded her muscles. It took Natalie several minutes before she spoke up and when she did he almost asked her to repeat herself, not because he didn't hear her but because he couldn't believe WHAT he heard

"I'm going to move Bryleigh and I out here after the wedding. I want my kids to have their father in their life."

EDITORS NOTE: Sorry it took so long to update, life got ahold of me and writers block hit me hard but I think I'm back at it :)