AoT One Shots

Crack Fic

"My precious!" Levi hissed as he stroked his windex

"Hanji is he ok?" Petra asked while carrying a planted tree.

Hanji merrily skipped  from her titans.
"Nope!"

Oluo began walking outside until he bit his tongue and went back inside.

Then, Jean and Marco came in. Marco was on top of Jean's shoulders.

"Onward my noble steed!" Marco shouted as Jean jumped out the window to run to Marco's store where he sells everything half off.

Hanji was bored so she decided to go to Erwin. He always had something to talk about. She opened his door only to be traumatized.

He had a big ass comb and he was combing his big ass eyebrows.

"Oh my god. YOU FUCKING BRUSH THEM!!!" Hanji fell down on the ground in laughter.

Mike came in the room next. He paused in the doorway to sniff and then picked Hanji up and took her to her room. To his not surprise it was filled with pictures of titans and she had a creepy body pillow, which she made, or the armored Titan. (That's a real thing btw)
"Ok Titan chick take a nap."

"HE TALKS!!!!"

Then Hanji fell into a deep sleep.

Meanwhile, in a few rooms over Reiner and Bertolt were just you know being really gay.

Bertolt was however sweating.

Sasha just woke up. To her surprise when she went to the kitchen she found Levi in the tea cabinet which makes no sense 'cause how did he even get up there.

"Um Corporal?"

"Hisssss"

"Ok. I'm not going to ask."

Levi nuzzled a tea cozy and whispered quietly
"Eren"

Connie walking in the room behind Sasha.

"Hey Sash, why is Levi in the tea cabinet?"

"No clue but he hissed at me when I asked him."

"Wtf."

"I don't know. But here." Sasha threw him a box full of food.

"Put those in our storage room in uh. Case of the apocalypse!"

"Right!" He winked at her and left.

Once again, meanwhile, Ymir and Christa were sitting outside together.

"Hey Christa," Ymir spoke up

"Yes Ymir?"

"I love you."

"I love you too." Christa smiled

Ymir moved over and began kissing Christa forcefully and this ain't a lemon so I'll let your minds figure out what happens next!

Annie was still in her crystal.

Far away from her crystal in a dark and formidable room, lay the humble, er, not so humble Mikasa.

Armin wanted to wake her up since she always made the day, um, interesting.

"Hey Mika." Armin shook her shoulder. She rolled over to show a body pillow of Eren. It was covered in Mikasa spit.

"Ewwww. Mikasa what the heck is that?"

"What."

"That body pillow. One, it's Eren, two he's half naked, and three it's covered in your saliva!"

"That's nothing Armin. You should see my shrine."

"SHRINE?!"

"What shrine?"

"Never mind. Go back to sleep." Armin ran out of the room.

That day every stereotype for everyone SNK character was used.

The end