[Old] My Little Demon

43~ ❝I totally ship you two!❞

"Ready?"

"Nah, triple laced for luck!"

"Oh, shut up. No-one triple laces their shoes."

"Well, I like to-"

"Quiet, asshole. Let's make a deal. If you promise to leave Lukey's body right now, I'll let you go with nine fingers."

"Nine!?"

"Well, yeah. I've gotta slice at least one."

"Even if I wanted to, I can't. I'm stuck here."

"Oh, boohoo. Guess I'll be taking all ten. Along with three toes, eight teeth, two lungs and eventually your life. Or I could just tie you up and torture you for eternity. Mmm. I think I like that option."

"Bleh. Crazy sadist. I'm glad we went our separate ways."

"Went our separate ways!? You broke up with me, you spoon!"

"For... for a complicated set of reasons you'll never understand!"

"Don't get melodramatic with me! I understand them quite well!"

"No, it was never meant to be! Fate did not dictate us to be entwined in love!"

"Fuck fate! Was I not good enough for you? Was that why you ran off with that Eve chick? That's what it was, wasn't it!?"

"No, that's not it!"

"How's she treating you?"

"She was... she was..."

"She was what? Go on. Spit it out, you diminutive little shitmuffin."

"All that... didn't work out."

"Yeah, serves you right!"

"Shut up! I'm taking this frying pan and whacking you with it!"

"Come at me, bro!"

"Wait!"

"What is it, Lukey? I've gotta slice and dice this guy."

"But... I have an idea."

"Better be good."

"You two need... what was it called..."

"Hmm?"

"Relationship counseling!"

"What!? No!"

"My friend, we're no longer together. There is no relationship!"

"But I totally ship you two!"

"What!? Stop that. Stop that, right now!"

"What do sailboats have to do with our relationship?"

"Everything! And no, I will not stop. You guys are my OTP!"

"What are you, a twelve-year-old female weeb?"

"OTP? A... one-time password?"

"No, you idiot! He's shipping us!"

"I refuse to stop!"

"Lukey, I swear..."

"This is great! So, Lily. Put down those knives. Adam. Put down that pan. It's time for... Lukey's relationship counseling!"