Diary entry 15.

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25 May

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The first thing I did after a sleepless night was to check if V came back but as expected, he didn't. After our talk last night, I had this uneasy feeling about what he said. I knew he wasn't joking around, he sounded serious and he was serious.

I then checked my phone to see any notifications but there was nothing, it's not like I had many friends, just 7 of them. But now there was another number in my contact list which brought a smile to my face, Alicia.

I texted her asking if she was free today, I decided to take her out somewhere just to get more closer to her and she immediately replied to my message, as if she was waiting for it.

Telling me she indeed had no plans today and that's when I went to her house which wasn't too far from mine.

I knocked on her door and she opened it, she wore ripped jeans and a t shirt, simple and beautiful. Just the way I liked her. "I'm taking you out on a date." I told her as she widened her eyes, and a light shade of pink visible on her face. She did ask me where but I didn't reply.

We reached the beach after a while as I looked at her to see a smile on her face, did she ever frown?

I took her to the shore and then entered into a shop, there were many kind of jewelry, cloths and many other thing that I didn't feel interested enough to look at, present there all looking like they were made just for the beach. I picked up a necklace, it was thin and a little pendent with a small blue stone fixed inside hung from the chain, the blue resembled the color of the sea and the sky. It somehow seemed pure and it reminded me of Alicia so I handed it to her. She looked at me confused.

I paid for the necklace and turned her around, as I made her wear it myself. It looked perfect on her.

She also bought me a ring, which fitted perfectly and it matched a little with her necklace bringing a amused smile on my face.

We sat on near the sea, just looking at the waves crashing on the shore and the sun that reflected on the water, my eyes traveled towards her, she looked perfect, even with only a liner and lip gloss she was perfect, flawless. Was that even possible?

I couldn't look away, when my eyes moved towards her full pink lips, I had this sudden urge to kiss them. She noticed me looking at her and turned around to face me. Our lips only mere inches apart making it a lot more harder for me to resist them.

I leaned in slowly, wondering if she'll back away, I was scared, what will I do if she doesn't like this, if she doesn't kiss me back. Because I realized how much she meant to me now, in just some days I was head over heels for her. Something I never saw coming.

"Can I?" I asked her just to be sure she really did need this, I somehow for the first time in forever didn't wanted to force myself on someone. But was this really love or just an act? I am not so sure.

She nodded lightly and that's when I pressed my lips against hers, feeling the softness of them, sending shivers down my spine one after another. What was happening to me? I was breaking my own rules just for this one girl? One mere human?

I was to never get involved with my victim but here I am, I promised myself to never take advantage of my victims, not have any sexual relations with them but here I was, kissing this girl who had no idea who I was.

Was this even right?

I never wanted to pull away but I could sense that she was out of breathe, for someone to never have kissed before, she was better than expected but I felt happy to be the first one to get this opportunity for some reason. I could never imagine somebody else stealing her first kiss, it made my blood boil.

After the kiss she was blushing the whole time, making her look cute. And soon I dropped her home, she left after giving me a kiss on the cheek, again something that I intended to never experience again, it is as if my whole life is back to being normal, before I was bullied before everything turned downhill. But I don't know if it's a good or a bad thing. I don't know what's coming in the future. And I'm scared, after months I'm feeling scared. A emotion I thought I erased when I turned into who I am now. But who am I now? The same Jimin who kills people for his pleasure? But why do I not feel the same anymore?

PJM.

End.//

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