Make a wish. //PJM AU//

Diary entry 16.

1 June

//Start

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It's been ages since I last wrote in my diary, now hasn't it? I'm sure you missed me, if you didn't then well I guess there will be consequences? Not really, this diary means a lot to me somehow.

The reason I didn't write was because I've been too busy with Alicia, yes, we're together now. After that day at the beach, my feelings for her grew more, if that was possible. We met each other every day and still I couldn't get enough of her.

Her kisses was intoxicating, I was addicted to her, to her kisses and her touch, it was like every time I get more I wanted even more of them, I couldn't stop, I knew it was too late to stop now. But she was still my victim, and I was still a predator, I can't fall in love now can I?

As for V? He still wasn't home yet, after that day, I never saw or talked to him. Of course I tried to contact him but his phone was turned off, what was this guy up to now? His last words still rang inside my head as fresh as ever,

"What's coming next isn't too good for everyone involved, Park Jimin."

Was what he told me, and then he vanished without a clue. And here I was now a little worried about him, sure he went out most of the time but he always returned after a day or two, and now it has been nearly a week and he's still not back.

Back to myself, I've been a lot different these days, I haven't been having the urge to kill somebody and I somehow want to be good, now doubting myself if turning into someone who I am now was a good idea or not. At that time this was all I wanted, because I wanted to feel the power, to never be scared of anyone ever again, to make others fear me but now I don't think this was the best idea. If I would have been the Jimin I was some months ago, it would've been a lot easier for me to be with Alicia, I wouldn't be hiding my life from her like I am now.

I hate lying to her, but I know she will hate me when she finds out the truth so I lied, unwillingly, lying was something I thought was a lot easier and fun to do but not anymore, specially not with her.

I decided to spent some time alone, away from V and Alicia so I stayed at home today, but I was still worried about V and his whereabouts. And I also wanted to be with Alicia because I miss her.

I know V doesn't like me being with her for a reason I'm clueless about but I just can't, I decided to follow my heart this time in hope that it doesn't betray me. But I still care about V although I don't show it. Because he was there for me when nobody else was. He helped me be the person I am now and not following his order this time and going against his words, and maybe even challenging him was something I was guilty about but I didn't regret anything in my life right now.

I got a lot of messages from Alicia, bringing a smile to my face but she understood when I told her that I can't come today. One of the many reasons why I liked her, she understood me. Maybe she'll understand me when I tell her who I really am? Because I can't hide these things forever. I know that.

I will tell her when the time comes. I will tell her how much of a devil I am, and that this devil fell for the angel.

PJM.

End.//