The Only Alpha Luna

The Car Ride

The playlist "Songs I try to Sing" I created on spotify was playing. I knew that I was singing off key but neither one of us made a move to have a conversation. So, there was nothing better to do to pass the time. That was until we were ten minutes into the car ride and Tom rudely turns off my sound system.

"Why did you do that?" I avert my gaze from the road just long enough to give him a short death glare. Tom giggles mischievously as though this was his plan all along.

"We need to talk, you and I both know that. I want this relationship to work but for that to happen there has to be honesty. What really happened with your Dad? You couldn't have one day just snapped and killed the man. There has to have been a series of events that caused the event." There was silence in the car. Silence that I intended to keep he was right there were things that I left out of my diary. Things that I would take to my grave.

"You don't need to know. You will never know." A tear escaped my eyes as I said those words and the memories of all the nights I went to bed crying came back. All the nights of pain and sorrow wishing that my mate had been with me. Wishing that my mate would take away the burden of dealing with my Dad. Since that's exactly what happens when you have a mate. My mate would have taken away the burden of killing my father.

"Even when you first started that journal you wanted a mate. You talked about how your mate would protect you, shelter you, love you, and give you all the opportunities that your father denied you. Yet, here I am. You won't accept me though, and I have a feeling that you won't ever truly love me." Tom muttered the last two sentences as he faced the window. What he didn't know or understand was that I already loved him, that I already accepted him in my heart. That my wolf was begging and pleading with me every chance that me and Tom were alone for things to go further. She wanted the process to be complete, yet she knew nothing of the process. My human self wanted to have him ask me to marry him for me to be his alone. Yet, every side of me knew that he wouldn't. Knew that he needed me to say the words first.

"Instead of focusing on me, and my past. Talk about yourself and yours." I say knowing all too well his reputation. That he was a merciless killer when it came to disobedience within his pack, or outsiders crossing his territory without permission.

"Most of the things about me are just rumors. I have little to no tolerance for disobedience but I don't kill them. I give them the worst jobs, after having them spend months in the jail cells we have. Yes, the punishment is harsh. Yet, I'm tired of being betrayed and having to deal with every single one of the small problems my pack has. The wolf who was my beta when I left was killed by my third, who is now the beta. It seems to be a constant ebb and throw position in my pack. I hate it since my best friend the one that I trust with anything and everything, refuses to move up the ranks to his death.

"I force outsiders to become part of my pack since they are usually just rogues, those that aren't are allowed passage through. Never once noticing that they've crossed territories since I've made it perfectly clear for my guards to follow and not to engage unless attacked first. I slept with...." Tom's voice drifted as though realizing that he said something that made both of our wolves ashamed. Mine because she did it once when she was vulnerable and weak, something an alpha's never supposed to be. His because it was expected for both of us to be pure when we met. "I'm 21, I waited 2 years before I slept with anyone. In those two years I never stopped searching or hoping. I traveled the world looking for you, hoping beyond reason that I would find you. I didn't. Thinking that I was gonna be alone for the rest of my life I slept with my previous beta. Not the one that just died but the two ones before the one that died. So three beta deaths ago. She was killed in a rogue attack." The car was silent. I had no idea what to say and felt as though my words of comfort over his loss were not ones that he would want to hear, or ones that he would appreciate. In some ways my wolf wanted to kill her for touching my mate, and in others my wolf wanted to thank her for giving him comfort when we couldn't. I was glad to know that he wasn't as alone as I had been all these years. I was also surprised to find out that I was a year younger than him since he seemed to be so playful. I would think that if you had been alive longer and in this horrible world for longer your viewpoint would match my own. That the world sucked and no one but your mate would be able to make you feel as though you belong.

I parked the car in a nearby parking garage not wanting a valet to drive, get in, or even touch my car. It was one of my favorites and I would be damned if someone other than me was the one to get the scratch on the flawless paint-job. I took the keys out of the ignition and turned to find Tom lost in his own thoughts. I wanted to ask him what he was thinking about but thought better since it was probably her.

"Tom, I love you, I accept you, I have wanted you in my life since before I knew you. I made a promise to my pack years ago though that I would put their needs above my life, my loves, my happiness, all so that they would never experience what happened with my Dad ever again. So as much as I would love to just say yes, I can't. You have to present yourself to my pack, and you have to be the one to make the speech that causes you to win their hearts. The same way that you stole mine. You have become my everything in just a day. You know when to back off, you give me my privacy, you let me be the one to come to you. Nowhere in this whole time did you ever force anything on me and I can't put into words how grateful that makes me." I was at a loss of words, what else was there to say. Yes, everything was cliche everything had been said before. What do you do when everyone's stolen all the good lines? That those lines are the things that you feel in your heart are the words you need to express yourself.

"I love you Lucy, and I will do whatever it takes to keep you in my life. You are mine, and now that I have you. Now that I know what a life with you could mean I don't want that to slip through my fingers." Tom's hand was on my left cheek as I was facing him in the car. There were no words that either one of us could speak. There were no meanings that we hadn't already said or felt between each other. This was it, I had accepted him into my life, and we would both hold on to each other until our last breaths. Maybe, just maybe I was safe from the same fate that befell my parents. Tears slipped through my eyes at a steady pace, and then his soft velvety lips were on mine. It was like a dream. Everything I wanted out of life was coming to pass, maybe for all the good in life there isn't a punishment. At least in these moments with Tom I felt as though there was no evil that could touch the two of us. Maybe that wouldn't change, I shook my head and told myself that I was being paranoid. The voice of reason that kept my two sides together slipped right back into the corner where she used to be. Soon she'll be long forgotten. Since both sides of myself had found peace in this one man, with everything we had done, since he showed us kindness, forgiveness, and acceptance. The only three things we have ever wanted from anyone.