The Only Alpha Luna

Questions Answered

P.S This chapter  is one of those ones that deals with a mature topic that may be difficult for some readers. I ask that everyone be respectful of everyone else in the comment section and be aware of the difficulty for some. 

Minutes felt like hours, as I laid down on the bed. Knowing all too well that the man behind me was watching me. Watching me closely as I made sure that my breathing was even so that nothing was given away. So that it was known I wasn't nervous, afraid, excited, or even thrilled by the prospect of him spending the entire night next to me, even though I was all of those things.

"Are you gonna be silent all night? I can't sleep." I say honestly, brutally honest, something that I tended to refuse to do.

"Am I allowed to talk? I wish I knew what you wanted from me. I'm afraid to be myself since I have a feeling that you're going to judge me for it. I know that as soon as I do something you don't like, I've lost. I've lost my mate, my chance at happiness, and a life that I've always wanted for myself. I'm not willing to put that in jeopardy." Tom says with something unidentifiable in his voice, something I wish I could place.

"Why are you afraid of fire?" I ask without thought, wanting to know why he had the same fear. What could a privileged Alpha like him have to fear about a small flame.

"My fear, has no important reason." Tom muttered, I knew that he was lying but I wasn't going to push. I would wait just like he was doing right now for me.

"Why are you afraid?" Knowing that I didn't have the words, at least the right ones. I sat up and took my shirt off. Revealing the cigarette burn scars, revealing the scar I had across the right side of my stomach. There were spots that were darker than others and it always unsettled me. Maybe, it was because when I received each of those scars I hadn't transformed yet. Tom sat up and traced each of the outlines, for the scars. I only let him do it for a few seconds before I put my shirt back on. My emotions becoming out of control, knowing that I wanted more than just a trace of his finger.

"I got those before I transformed, from a man I tried to forget and take care of a long time ago. They run deep, not just on the outside, but each one of those scars have a mental one that runs deeper. I'm afraid of flames since it was his favorite thing to play with, his favorite thing to hurt me with." I say laying back down and into the same position. Knowing all too well that if I saw the pity, or the sadness, or even the "oh poor baby" look everyone else gives me I would break. I wouldn't be able to be here with him now. I wouldn't be able to keep answering his questions or be as openly honest.

"I have a scar on my left pectoral muscle which starts above my second rib and engulfs the rest of it. It looks as though the scar itself is reaching to tear my heart away. The person who gave it to me is someone I trusted with my life. Due to that day, I haven't trusted anyone else with the story, or anything that makes me look weak or vulnerable. I haven't opened up to anyone, until I met you." There was silence after that. I felt the heartache and the loss that he had for that person since it was in his voice. There was nothing stopping us from talking besides the barrier and the habitats of our past. Even knowing a little bit about his past didn't make me feel as though I deserved him anymore than before. Which was none, he deserved someone so much better. "Scars, bruises and wounds, they don't define us. They don't do anything besides show our memories on our body. They reflect nothing but the remnants of our past, they should be treasured even those that are our gateways to a horrible place. A place that we promise to never return to. Do you want to know how I knew you were my mate? The person that I'm destined to spend the rest of my life with." No pressure. I nodded my head anyway I wanted to know how he knew.

"I trusted my wolf, I saw you dancing there without a care in the world. You looked so happy, and outgoing." Tom's voice broke. "My wolf wanted you more than anything, and the fact that all of those other men were staring and drooling. I wanted to kill them for it, the jealousy I had was so overwhelming." He paused as though afraid he was going to cry, maybe he wasn't good or used to these confessions of honesty either. "Than you made that deal up in front of your room, my human side wanted you then. Since he saw a survivor, someone who knew what she wanted, yet wasn't willing to give any part of herself to anyone without them proving their worth." Tom finished and it was sweet, and all good reasons to believe I was the one and only.

"What is a mate? What is this process were going through?" I say turning quickly on my side so that half of my body was angled in his direction. Allowing him to see my face, and me his.

"A mate is someone you can't live without, someone that when you're away from all your thinking about is them. Their happiness, is all that you think about. You think about what kind of a life you could give that person, how you want them to see the best parts of yourself. More than that though, you want them to accept the dark spots. You want them to accept with each and everyone of your faults. Even with them knowing all of the darkness they stand by you, they accept you. This mating process all I know is that when we've marked each other, and we've joined together as one person, one being. We are mated, we are together forever. I don't know about the rest of this stuff, the things that are in place, the things that are supposed to bring us closer together. All I know is what I have to do to make you mine, if you weren't so stubborn." Tom says looking deeply into my eyes. If you had overheard the conversation it would sound as though he was insulting me for that quality but his eyes showed admiration, and devotion. What did I do to deserve such qualities from another being? I did horrible things, horrible things that were sure to take him away from me. I didn't want to share anymore, I didn't want him to know.....

I cried, and the cries turned to sobs as memories of that horrible night came flooding back. Instead of making me deal with it on my own, he brought me into the crook of his arms and positioned me so that I was crying on his chest comfortably turned into him. Then I cried harder because of the deed I did, didn't deserve comforting. I killed my Father. I fell asleep in Tom's arms, and for the first time in 10 years or so I didn't have a single nightmare.