Chasing the fire:Stephanie(Completed)

Chapter (54)

Kabanata 54

How many times do you need to get hurt for you to know it's time to let go?

Ang hirap na tanong ano? Hanggang kelan nga ba? Nasusukat ba ang katangahan ng tao? May MARTYRDOMETER ba na pwedeng gamitin para malaman kung hanggang kelan ka lang dapat magpakasakit before you actually let go?

Hurting... was an understatement of what I'm feeling right now.

I want to kill myself.

Maybe I was about to, I don't know. I guess my head was drained with all the fluid due to my intense crying that I wasn't really aware of what I was thinking. Uh... I thought I heard my phone ring from somewhere. Now where is it?

I looked behind my pillow. It wasn't there. I looked under the bed. No. Not there. Ipinagpag ko yung kumot. Then I heard a soft thump. My phone fell on the bed. It was still ringing.

"Hello?" I answered. Hearing my croaky voice put me on the edge of crying once again..

"Steph! I miss you so much, bibista kami dyan ni Nicole. Kamusta na? Si Cherry 'to!"

Kung hindi lang siguro ako malungkot ngayun. Malamang kanina pa ako tiling tili sa tuwa. Pero hindi ee, sobrang lugmok ko ngayun. Mukhang napansin ata ni Cherry na umiiyak ako. I don't want to tell her that I'm crying. I don't want to be a baggage to her by telling her how I feel. Tama na yung buong magdamag na iniyak ko.

"Are you crying?" She asked.

"Hindi! Tears of joy lang 'to. Oh kailan balik niyo?" Pagiiba ko ng topic. I heard her sigh from the other line. Gustong gusto ko mang magshare sakanya ng sama ng loob ay hindi pwede. Ayaw kong problema kaagad ang maririnig niya saakin.

"Next month! Excited na akong umuwi.. And uhmm.. May itatanong lang ako."

"Ano 'yun?" I asked.

"How's Faber?"

Hindi ko alam kung sinong Faber yung tinutukoy niya. I've heard much of story about Faber five years ago. Actually dalawa ang kakilala ko na may ganoong pangalan, kaya nagtataka ako kung sino doon.

"Faber who?" I asked back.

Narinig ko ang mahinahong paghinga niya sa kabilang linya. "That guy who was with me five years ago."

"Oh I thought you were with Xraig Jester?"

Sa pagkakaalam ko si Xraig yung nagiisang boyfriend niya noong college, Hindi naman kasi ako masyadong updated sa lovelife noon ni Cherry. I was busy bearing a grudge. I was busy of hoping into something that could be happen.

"Oh nevermind that. By the way ibababa ko na ang tawag. I'll just have to finish this paperworks. See you!" She said then hunged up.

I stared at my phone for two minutes, bago ko ito inihagis sa kama.  Cherry will be here in a few weeks. Siguro advantage na rin iyon na darating siya para naman makasama ako sakanya pag'uwi. Sa tingin ko kasi kailangan ko ng ilang buwang bakasyon para gamutin ang sarili ko. I wanted to meet new people, explore the world and forget everything. Pero sino nga ba ang niloloko ko? Sa five years nga, hindi ko siya nakalimutan, ilang buwan pa kaya? I guess I will forever stay this way. I will forever jailed in his memories.

"Dad throw a party due to the increase of sales. You go?"

Tiningnan ko si Kuya na kasalukuyang tinutupi ang manggas ng kanyang polo.

Ayaw ko sanang sumama dahil wala ako sa mood makisalamuha sa mga tao ngayun. Alam na rin ni kuya ang nangyari saamin ni Nyxx. Tinanong niya ako 'nung umuwi akong umiiyak. Labag man sa kalooban, sinabi ko na rin 'yung totoo.