Saying Goodbye (Inspired by true events)

Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Standing outside of the funeral parlor in this freezing cold, crisp weather, a day that was sure to be burned into my mind. I pulled away from Riley, my expression was lost as my voice hardened as I lashed out on Riley.

"Don't touch me, YOU DID THIS!"

Riley just stared at me blankly. "How did I do this?" His voice was loud and equally as stern as my own.

"I- I don't know.... maybe I did this." I said collapsing onto the cement steps that was covered in snow.

Before Riley could attempt to help me up I managed to get up on my own, no matter how unstable I was I held my head high before walking back in. Nobody bothered to stare as I fiercely wiped away the tears that were all to obvious.

Tom saw me and quickly approached me putting his arm around me. "Let's go sit over there." He guided me to a row near the back that was isolated.

I flung myself onto Tom, digging my face into his sweater before releasing all five months worth of built up frustration. Tom was my big brother in every sense of the word. We would talk every Wednesday was "Tom" day we'd talk for hours, he just handled my senseless babble mostly about Nick still not talking to me.

Five months ago Nick and Riley had my dad sent back to prison for breaching his terms of parole by trying to flee the country. Just as Nick promised me that the next day he would be thrown back in prison. I sent a thank you text to Nick and never received a reply. I've sent several messages weekly knowing full well he'd read them they were mostly updates on school or to tell him I was thinking about him, I was so sure he'd come around that we'd beat the odds that were stacked against us. I suddenly felt my heart race I was sweating excessively and my eyes were burning something fierce as a few guys carried out Nick's casket . I wanted to die so badly, I put my hand on my thigh hoping they'd stop shaking so bad when I realized I still had my promise ring on. I stared at the three diamonds and it was almost as if I could hear Nick's voice telingl me what they represented.

I glided my fingertip over past, we've had a rough past. Present, I was presently fucked up and future. That word bared no meaning to me anymore. I shut my eyes tightly squeezing them stopping the flood from escaping my eyes. Oddly enough I thought of a family I wanted to one day have with Nick. That fantasy I had after realizing I lost our baby knowing I'll never have that with him. If I ever had kids they wouldn't have Nick's bright eyes are brilliant smile and his odd sense of humor and they wouldn't have that obsession Nick had gardening or reading those stupid choose your own adventure books.

"Ali?" Tom's concern filled voice snapped me out of my trance. I slowly opened my eyes, turning to see Nick's sweet grandmother smiling sadly at me I quickly got up and hugged her tightly.

" I never thought I'd live long enough to bury my daughter let alone my grandson, I'm glad I lived long enough to meet you."

I was speechless. " It’s really nice to see you again." My words were so faint and shaky.

"Don't be a stranger dear, you're welcome to visit anytime."

I nodded, Words didn't want to form as she turned to follow the crowd through the doors to the cemetery she said one other thing. " He loved you so much you know. He asked for my mother's engagement ring to give to you."

My first thought drifted to the night he brought flowers at the party and saw me and Riley. For an instant I could have sworn I saw a ring case in his hand but I assumed it was my imagination being cruel. I was frozen with shock, that's when everything felt hazy.

Tom's hand was on my shoulder. " I need to lay down." I mumbled before passing out.

I woke up on a bed in a hotel room feeling slightly less overwhelmed than I had been earlier.