Better Love //dyle//

Chapter 3

"Ky, you have to get away from him." Kyle's sister tells him the following weekend as they sit in the home of their parents, in Kyle's childhood bedroom. Nothing has changed since he moved out all those years ago- is it five years, now?- the same posters hang on the walls, the same wallpaper is marked and ripped in points, the same everything. Just not the same boy. "He's not as good as you think he is. He isn't the best man in the world, he isn't everything you think he is. He's nothing." 

"That's not true," Kyle denies with a shake of his head. He knows he's lying to everyone else and himself, but he just can't let himself admit it in this situation.

He won't let himself believe it, but his younger sister's words have an impact on him. Somewhere along the line, Kyle has been taught that this abuse is okay, that the broken bones, the bruises, and the spilt blood all suggest nothing but a healthy relationship. He won't admit it to himself that he's being abused, because he clings onto a period where it was bliss, where he was happy. He clings onto that fragmented love that once existed.

"He loves me." 

"Oh my God, Kyle! Won't you wake up and realise that he doesn't love you?! He's using you for his sick games, his sick and twisted mind is manipulating you to do what he wants! Leave him before he ends up hurting you even more!" The words are clear. They make sense. Anyone else would have listened- but his sister is right. He has been manipulated to refuse everything and anything that suggest signs of mistreatment or abuse. "He's a pile of shit and you're too fucking blind to see it." 

Kyle rises from his bed in a huff. "Fuck off," he demands, glaring at her as he stalks towards the door, his voice radiating anger. "You don't know the half of it." 

His sister follows him as she mirrors his actions, rising and grabbing his wrists, pulling him back so they are facing each other. Despite the height gap between them (the very large one), she still glares at him. "Yeah, you're right. I don't want to know the other half. But what I do know is that I used to have a strong, charismatic, funny, loving big brother, and that man has been beaten down at the hands of him to become you- quiet, scared of everything, and too fucking gullible to see the abuse, the manipulation, and the bullshit he puts you through. I want my big brother back, Kyle." 

The man had stormed out of his house and walked the several miles back to his and his boyfriends flat, not being bothered to take the bus. Luckily, he finds his boyfriend still as drugged up as when he left him, hunched over on the floor with a band tied around his arm and a needle sitting next to him. Well, it's lucky for Kyle, anyway. At least this way he isn't going to end up with fresh bruises and a bloody nose.

Kyle has always been very open about his sexuality. He liked boys. If a girl came along that he liked, then he'll probably love her just as much as he would a man. His family and his parents were fine with it, and all the people who didn't like it were swiftly told to fuck off, and everyone, especially his family, had his back in the situation. 

His first boyfriend was everything he could have asked for in a man. He was perfect. They went on cute dates, went on holiday a few times (even if it was a weekend in a caravan somewhere), and their families loved each other.

It was politics that broke them up. Kyle was a firm believer in one party due to his families working class background, but his ex disagreed with all of their policies and wanted the opposing party to get in, which caused many arguments and lead to their eventual break up. Although there were arguments, they have no terrible feelings between each other. They talk like old friends if they ever see each other.

As the shower water hits his skin, sending a chill down his spine from the coldness of it, Kyle thinks- is this love? But then he tells himself to stop being stupid. Of course it is- his boyfriend wouldn't kiss him if he didn't love him, they wouldn't have sex...

Is it sex? Kyle doesn't remember consenting to it last time... Was he drunk? Is that why he didn't? Maybe he did and he just can't remember. His boyfriend wouldn't hurt him if he didn't do anything wrong.

His boyfriend loves him. A lot. Right?