Better Love //dyle//

Chapter 18

"Kyle?" The wind is blowing between the branches of the trees, and something about the scene suggests peace and contempt. It's a calm situation, one that the two want to stay in. There is nothing but a beautiful scene and love. For some reason, despite the greens of the grass and the browns of the dirt, everything seems remotely blue and white.

"Hmm?" Kyle responds, his answer almost drowned out by the singing of the birds and the howl of the wind.

"Are you happy?" All they can smell is fresh air, which is soaking into their clothes and will stick to them like glue. It refreshes them, something Kyle hasn't felt for a while. IT feels new.

A smile grows on Kyle's face, though he keeps looking out into the distance. "Of course I am, Danny." He tells him, one of his legs tucked to his chest and the other lying beneath it. "Course I am." 

"You... You don't look very happy." Dan reaches over and takes Kyle's hand, running his fingers gently over his knuckles and giving it a light squeeze, entwining their fingers together. Kyle squeezes back just the same.

"Sometimes our faces don't exactly convey what we're thinking about, Dan. Don't worry about me." He glances over at Dan, raising his eyebrows slightly before looking back down the field. He likes it here, it reminds him of his childhood, the careless days and peaceful nights, back when he wasn't terrified of everything.

Dan nods in understanding, his eyes glued to Kyle's face. "I get what you mean." He tells him, looking at the slight colouring around his lip. "What are you thinking about, then?" 

"Us." 

"Us?" Dan echoes, furrowing his eyebrows in concern and confusion. Well... He thought things had been going pretty well- in fact, he had well and truly fallen head over heels for Kyle. Are the feelings not mutual? "Is something... Is something not working out between us?" 

"Oh, God no! It's not that at all, Danny. Not at all... I just... I want us, Dan. I want us." Kyle picks his words carefully, though in some form of a rush. He has to be careful in what he's saying in case something slips out that he shouldn't say. 

"We have us, though, Kyle? I don't understand what you mean..." Dan tells him, concern lacing his words. "I... I don't get it?"

"What I mean is I want us to be everything we could be. We could be amazing, Dan. We could conquer the world with each other, but I hold us back. All the time. There is so much that we could discover, so much we could do. It's been a few weeks since it's happened, but I can't even have sex with you. I'm holding us back so much." Kyle rambles, letting his words run away with themselves. You should have just quit when you had the chance. Why are you even here? He knows he's untrustworthy when it comes to his emotions- Hell, for the last few years, he hasn't known if he's coming or going. His emotions are so fucked up right now. 

Dan just hugs him, putting his head on his shoulder. "You know I love you. I will support you in everything you choose to do, so don't think like that. I'm happy with you, Kyle. We are amazing, we can conquer the world. You just... You have to step out of your comfort zone a little bit, you know?" He tells him, ghosting his fingertips over his arms, feeling the goosebumps he is creating. "I think... I think we should go on holiday." 

"You do?" Kyle asks, his face lighting up. Dan nods. "God, where would we even go? I haven't been on holiday for years. Hell, for a few months I never even left the flat. What would we take? Who would watch the flat-" 

"Stop worrying," Dan laughs, "We'll sort something out, I'm sure. You can pick where we go, if you want. Somewhere you've never been..." 

"Well, it's not like we have unlimited money..." Kyle says, shrugging. "There's a budget." 

"Of course there is. So, why don't we go somewhere like Spain or Majorca first, somewhere a little closer to home, and then, if anything happens with my music, I'll take you on your dream holiday? How about that then, Ky?" Dan smiles confidently, wrapping his arms around the man's chest. "Anywhere in the world, I'll take you there and we'll have the time of our lives." 

"It sounds good, Dan, but-" 

"Don't let the if's and but's hold you back, Kyle. You are a free bird, whatever you want to do in life, you can. There is nothing holding you back. Tell me where you'd like to go, and I'll sort it out sometime in the future. Anywhere at all, the sky is the limit." He kisses the nape of Kyle's neck, little digging his teeth into his skin.

"I've... I've always wanted to go to America. You know, be a tourist. See Niagra Falls, Route 66, New York. Stupid little things like that, it's all I've ever wanted." Kyle tells him, "But it's so exp-" 

"Then America it is, my love. Anything for you."