Dark Beauty /Sirius Black/ [2]

Dark Beauty - Prologue.

Prologue

Dear Benji,

Hello Benny, how is Spain? How is Arden?

Life is a little hectic at the moment here in London, the warm weather has come and gone but I suppose it's all you have. Sirius, Jude and I have just moved into our new home, we decided that was the best way to spend the money that dad had left in his will for me, it was so much I barely could process what was going on when the lawyer handed me the check, but none of us could bear to live in that house anymore, it was getting much too hard having to pass his room every morning.

I'm sorry for not writing much to you, I wish I had a better excuse than I do, but the months have just been so hard, it's tough to do anything these days, I must admit. Sirius finally found a job in a garage, him and Remus both where able to get jobs there actually, can you believe Remus is working in a garage, he likes it actually, Blair winds him up about it though, bless him.

The owner took a liking to Sirius, though, understands his pain or something, I'm sure that's what he said, tries to give him as much work as possible to get his mind off of things, he even gave him this old motorbike to fix up, actually. Sirius loves it, though, he spends most of his time on it, we have a little garage in this new house, it's small but he spends most of his time in it with the bike if he's not with me.

I think it's a coping mechanism for him, it keeps his mind working instead of thinking about everything that's happened, all the changes that's suddenly been made, you knew how hard this hit him.

Jude misses you like crazy, seriously, he talks about you every day, wishes his Benny was here to see his new room.

I have a job interview soon, just after Halloween, actually, in a little bakery that has just opened up not too far into the city, I passed it out with Sirius the other day after we had dropped Jude off at Alfie's. It's a way to make money, I suppose, sooner or later the money dad left will run out and how else will we survive, Sirius makes money at the garage, obviously, but it's just enough, we're hoping to save some, too, and at least be able to buy Jude some toys here and there. I'm not looking to enjoy it but here's hoping, right? These days the only thing we can be is optimistic.

James sent me a letter just yesterday, him and Lily are part of this thing with Dumbledore, we're not sure what but the man sent us a letter to contact him when we are on our feet, and coping with the loss, but I'm not sure that'll be any time soon. We discussed writing to him just yesterday, but we think we're going to wait a while to see what happens.

James said that four muggle families have been killed, I'm trying not to think of it, Remus says I'm trying to further myself from the wizarding world as much as possible, I waved him off but I think he might be right, I haven't done magic in months, I'm not sure I'm even allowed to around Jude, but Sirius does, so I think it's alright.

Maybe I'm being ignorant, or selfish, but I have Jude to look after now, full time, I cannot stress how much I wish for him to be safe, he has his whole life ahead of him and already has he lost both of his parents, he doesn't need any more hurt.

I can't help but be grateful that mum and dad weren't killed by the war, I would hate for Jude to find out about his parents in such a hard way. Although, I wish most of all that neither of them had to go through that, I wish mum and dad got to see me graduate, got to see Jude grow up, to see their grandchildren, I miss them terribly, Sirius and Jude do too.

I heard Jude talk about dad the other day, I was walking past his room - which he loves - and he was talking to one of his teddy bears as though it was dad, it broke my heart, I had to tell him that I was reading a sad book when he asked why his princess was crying.

Halloween is just a few days away, everyone is coming round, I haven't seen most of them in a few weeks, which doesn't seem like long but it's entirely different from every day. I wish you could be here, Arden too, of course, but I understand how hard it was on you, having been in the car with dad when it happened, I really hope you're enjoying the sun, enjoying finally having time with Arden, together, like you always should have, you really deserve it, but I miss you so much.

I miss your jokes, and your ability to always make me feel happy, or just alright even when I truly don't feel like that. you have always been my best friend, Benji, always looked out for me, fought for me. When you and dad got into the crash, I was so terrified, I couldn't lose you, I didn't want to have to cope with losing my best friend, my brother as well as my dad, in all honesty I really don't know if I would have been able to cope.

I barely am.

But I have to be, for Jude, y'know, if he saw me upset, then he would be the same, and I know he already is sad he wonders where his daddy is, he sleeps with me and Sirius some nights because of these nightmares of dad leaving him. It's so hard to keep a straight face, to tell him that it's alright, that daddy finally found mummy again, but he's just a baby, he doesn't really understand why dad had to go, and if I'm honest, I don't understand why he had to go either.

I hope your travels are well, that Spain is everything you wanted and more. When you get back we can discuss the house if it's alright. All of this adult stuff is really getting on my nerves but we need to do it at some point, unfortunately.

Dad left us all a bloody ton, but it's not enough to pay for the house, it's far too much. Although, it was recommended that we sell it and split the money.

We also need to figure out where Alina and Lia will go after Hogwarts, summer, Christmas, y'know? Maybe they could come home with Sirius and I, we have a spare room, which is rather surprising, but it's good, we can do it up for them, gives us something else to do, I guess.

Well I hope everything is well, I'm missing you terribly, as is everyone, I can't wait to see you again soon, hopefully.

Love, Adria.