Who To Choose

My Mistakes

How could I? Now I feel like a bitch. I should talk to him.

But not today. Right now, I'm just gonna try and not feel so guilty about what I've done but I know that that's just going to be impossible.

Austin should be back from school in about 20-30 minutes so I'm just going to try and keep myself occupied until then.

20-30 MINUTES LATER

Yay, Austin's back (that's sarcasm).

Now, I have to explain everything to Austin. Or do I? Remember the saying 'sooner rather than/or later ', well I choose later. 

I figure if I make him happy and in a good mood, he won't go on a manhunt for Cassian.

Austin knocked on the door. I walked over to the door and opened it.

"Hey, Ari," he said hugging me.

"Hey, Austin," I said with a half-smile.

"Ari, what's wrong, why did you leave school early, and most importantly: why were you crying?"

I had to find something to keep him distracted so he wouldn't ask any more questions. " Austin, want to do something fun?" I asked.

" Huh? Why aren't you answering my questions?"

" Austin, d-d-do you want to make-out with me?" I asked hastily, to try and change the subject even though I really wasn't feeling it.

"Yes," he replied immediately after I said it.

He threw down his stuff inside the front door and shut and locked the door so fast it looked like he did it all in one swift movement. He turned around and slammed me into the wall with such force that I felt the wall shake and I heard a picture frame rattling on the wall near me. He picked me up and carried me to the master bedroom where he lowered me onto the bed. I detached myself from him to pull off his shirt. He smirked down at me and I was about to speak when he smashed his lips on mine again. This continued on for I'm not even sure how long until a knock sounded on the door.

Austin cursed under his breath. 

"Austin, I'll go get the door, I'll be back," I said, trying to catch my breath as I got up only to be pulled back down by his muscular arms where he turned me around kissed me. "Austin, let me get up so I can see who the hell is knocking on the door before they break it down."

He grunted but finally let me go and I walked to the door and opened it.

"Hey, Ari. Do you know where Austin is- Oh, did I interrupt something?" It was Alex.

"Oh, hey, yeah he's here and no, you're fine," I said. 

Just then, Austin walked out of the bedroom, his hair a mess from our little make-out session.

"Who's here, babe? Oh, hey Alex, what's up?" He asked, walking over to where I was standing in front of Alex.

"Hey, I wanted to know if you wanted to go get wasted tonight? So do ya wanna?" Alex asked, hoping that Austin would say 'yes' and honestly, so was I.

"No, I'm going to stay here with Ari, plus we have something to talk about."

Oh shit. He remembered. I'm gonna have a good night tonight. NOT! Ugh! I thought.

"Oh, well okay. Talk to you later, man," he said, sounding a little bit disappointed.

"Bye," I said to Alex as he walked away and then drove off. I then shut the door behind me.

"I think we should talk. Why have you been acting weird, and throwing yourself at me?" he questioned.

I debated whether to tell him or not. But, I knew that I would have to tell him. So, now I'm gonna tell him. Including what happened with Cassian.

" Fine. Well, remember today when I went to talk to my friends?" He nodded. "Well, when I was talking to them I told them something that I shouldn't have. I told them that we don't do anything together or have fun anymore since they always seem to not include me, and I also said that we don't have anything in common. Evidently, they don't like the truth, because that's what I said. And so now I don't have any friends of my own."

"So? That's not too bad."

"But Austin, it gets worse," his eyes narrowed at this as he waited for me to continue. " You remember Cassian?" He nodded but I saw his jaw clench. "Well, I ran into him on the street when I left school. He-he told me that he was falling for me and I told him that I can't be l- the L-word. Which is true."

"Why not? Why can't you be loved?"

"I just can't. Plus, I don't want to talk about it."

"Ari, yes you are gonna talk about it."

"No, I'm not! So just DROP it, Austin!"

"No, I want to know why you can't be-"

"Please Austin, just drop it," he sighed in defeat, so I continued as if nothing happened. "Anyways, he then called me a skank when I told him that I was dating you.  So then I got really pissed at him and took off his disguise. I then shouted to everyone who he was and where he was. So now I feel really guilty for doing that."

"Hah! That dumb ass deserved that!" Austin chuckled with a smirk.

I was mortified by seeing this mean, almost cruel, side to Austin.

"What?! No, he didn't! He didn't deserve any of it! If anything, I deserved it for being a skank. So, don't even say that he deserved it when he didn't! You know what? We're done! D-O-N-E. Now get outta here before I call the cops to have you removed." I shouted.

"What? Bu-" he tried to say.

"NO, I don't wanna hear it! I knew I shouldn't have gotten myself involved with you but I did and it was a big mistake! Get out of here you bastard!" I said absolutely pissed at Austin.

He then walked out of the beach house with his head hanging. 

How could he say that Cassian deserved that? I know that he didn't but, sure as hell I do, I thought.

I have to talk to Cassian. I need to straighten things out between us. 

And I don't know what I'll do if he won't talk to me.