Young Volcanoes

-Chapter Twenty Five-

The weeks following the suicide of Ryan Ross were tough ones. I didn't sleep. I didn't eat. I skipped classes, and spent most of my abundantly free time with Patrick. I didn't speak. Not even to him. But you know the thing i love most ahout Patrick is? It's the fact that he's stubborn. Yep, you heard me right. Most couples would see that as the one big flaw in a person... in Patrick's case, that was the thing that kept him around. He was so genuine, so worried, so... stubborn, that he sat with me every single day. He sang songs to me. He spoon fed me. He did it all, and, as much as i was ashamed to have to be babied by my lover, i was grateful all the same. For, without him, i would most likely be... dead.
He would smile down upon me, showering me in his golden kisses, each one leaving a new wave of heat across my cold, flushe face. He would bring out his guitar, or sometimes he'd bring Tyler, and he's sing songs for me, either himself or Tyler playing. Each song was as memorable as the last, and i was able to replay them in my mind.
Patrick wrote me his own songs, our private songs. 'We shall never share them with anybody. They are meant purely for us, my dear. Purely for us. I love you, Peter Wentz. I do.' He'd murmur, and then he'd strum his guitar. Each time he sung for me, i was overwhelmed with pride--- yet i stayed silent.
It was like opening my own little incognito tab on Google. Like the world meant nothing to me, like it was just me, floating around my self. It was, just like how an incognito tab deletes your search history, just like the memory of myself that my friends had was slowly fading away. I was, i full depth, a fading image.
The only thing weighing me down was Patrick himself. Not Joe or Andy, not Brendon, not Tyler or Josh. Patrick.
Patrick Martin Stumph was there when nobody else was. My friends had all guven up on me, but Patrick stayed. He stayed right by my side the whole time.
Patrick Stump was the man who woke me up.