Taming A Player (Love Love Love Book 3)

Part 27: Fuel to the fire

A/N: Hi scarletletters! thanks for reading my story: chasing love <3

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Kyle

I rushed to the car, dragging Xavier with me. He was willing to go with me. I know, I’m too selfish.  I ruined his night and I still have the guts to have him take me to Darren.

Thoughts run through my head.

They ran on and on, endless string of thoughts that scare me to death.

Is he still alive? Will I still see him again? Kaya ko bang wala sya?

Bakit? Bakit ganito parin yung nararamdaman ko? Matapos lahat ng sakit? Siguro ganito talaga kapag mahal mo ang isang tao.

Kahit anong sakit, titiisin mo.

Pero ganito lang ba ako habang buhay? Lagi masasaktan?

He’s in danger.  And I’m in no position to feel this way.

To feel like I’m the one in danger.

I want to say that I don’t love him anymore. But I do; more than life itself, though I know that he have a future with carina. That he’s bound to have a family and that family does not include me.

 Pero bakit ang hirap magsinungaling sa sarili?

Gusto ko parin isipin na kami parin sa huli. Na sa dulo, ako parin ang mamahalin nya.

We rode the car in silence. My heart is hammering through my chest.

Pag dating ko sa ospital, Xavier chose to stay outside

“salamat.” I said as I look into his eyes. How can I be this selfish.

nakasalubong ko si Jaden pag dating ko sa nurse’s station..

“Kyle, mabuti naman nakarating ka!”

“ano ba kasing nangyari??

“Nagkagulo sa bar na pinuntahan nya. Nadamay sya sa away; no actually, he started the fight. He hitted on a girl with a boyfriend. Nagalit yung boyfriend and all hell breaks loose.”

“what’s happening to him? He’s not like this.” I said, still worried

“nasan sya?” I asked

“halika, sumamaka sakin.” He led me to his room

Then I see him. He has gotten thinner. He looks so fragile and I just wanna hold him. My arms reached for him automatically and hugged him.

Then I felt him pull away from me.

“bakit ka nandito?” he asked me with a blank face

“anong nangyayari sayo? Hindi ka naman ganyan! Hindi ka pala away.  Gusto mo ba mamatay?!” I said as I was crying. Tears fell in unison and I can stop from sobbing

“mahal mo parin ako?” He asked me. His eyes about to shed a tear.

I answered without hesitation.

Without a single thought.

“oo. Kaya tama na Darren. Don’t be like this. Don’t do this to yourself. Don’t do this to me. I forgive you for everything, I can’t stay mad at you. I don’t wanna live without you.  Walang susuko di ba? You saw me when nobody does. Let’s be selfish for once in our lives. Come with me, I know I sound desperate.. but let’s runaway. Yung malayo sa kanila. Yung tayo lang… ” I said as I continue crying and holding his face with my palm.

He pushed my palm away gently off his face.

“Kyle, makinig ka sakin. I’m no good for you. Ganito na ako and I won’t change. I always bring trouble, I always make things worse, I always fuck up-“ I didn’t let him finish

“I screw up a lot too. Hindi naman lahat perfect. Don’t say these things to me. Don’t say what I think you’re gonna say.” I said. I cant barely breathe.

“Gusto ko sana sabihin sayo na magiging okay lahat. Na may magagawa pa ako. Pero kyle, wala tayo sa fairy tale. I wish we are. But I cant. I just cant. I wish I was just dreaming, but it’strue, I’mjust not meant for you. You don’t need me to be happy. You don’t need me to see your worth. You don’t need me to be you. And once and for all. I’m ending this. I’m ending us.” He said. As he turned away from me.

“Once I stepped out of this door, I’m stepping out of your life.” I said as I head to the door with my heart, furiously trying to continue to beat.

My lungs chased air and my sanity fades away to dust.

I closed the door and leaned on it behind me and cried as I fell on my knees.

But I need you. I need you to love me.

I need to be next to you..

Kailangan ko marinig yung “I love you” mo. Yung pag yakap mo sakin.. yung lahat ng ikaw. Kahit pagtawag mo sakin ng panget at kung ano mang pangaasar mo, okay lang..

I tried my best to stay composed until I reached Xavier’s car.

I ran towards him.

To the rock I can always lean on. I want him too. But I love Darren more.

I’m selfish and God is punishing me.

I hugged him tight and buried myself to his chest. I smell his familiar scent and his familiarity makes me feel safe. He brushed his hand over my cheek and looked me in the eye..

His eyes reading me,as if he knows everything about me.

 “shhh. You’ll get through this.. I’ll stay where you need me. Kahit isang taong tagapakinig lang ako sayo. Kahit ako nalang yung taong sasandalan mo kapag hindi mo na kaya. Ako nalang. Ako nalang ang aakay sayo. Kasi mahal kita, katulad ng sobrang pagmamahal mo sa kanya. Nasasaktan ako Makita kang ganyan.  Susubukan kong maintindihan ka, dahilsa panahong ito.. pareho tayong nasasaktan.”

And we stood there, not caring what other passersby think. Just the two of us and our tears.