Half A Heart (A Dark Liam Payne Fanfiction)

Chapter 17

*Kay's POV*

"Shall we?" Liam asked. I took his hand and we walked off towards the bedroom. What am I doing? Is this really going to make me feel any better? My brain is telling me no but nothing else is. How could something that I know is wrong feel so right?

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"Are you sure Kay?"

"Yes just do it" I answered. Liam smiled and slipped on the condom. Just as he was about to enter me I heard a shrill ringing sound coming from the nightstand.

"Fuck" Liam grumbled. He grabbed the phone and declined the call. That's as far as we got before it rang again.

"Liam you might want to get that" I said.

Liam looked at me awkwardly then answered. "Hello?" He snapped.

"Mum? What's wrong why are you crying? What? No no no no no he can't be. What happened? What? No no fuck no. This isn't even fucking happening. I fucking knew this would happen he can't control himself. Damn it. This is his fault! Fuck this!"

Liam didn't even bother hanging up before he threw his phone across the room smashing it into pieces. I jumped at his violent action although it shouldn't surprise me after knowing his history and hearing the conversation he just had with his mother. I decided to get dressed knowing what I came here for would no longer happen.

Once I was fully dressed I saw that Liam still hadn't gotten dressed and was just sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. I was debating whether to approach him or not but figured that the worst he would do was smack me and tell me to leave. Although that would hurt like hell, I knew I had to take a chance and try to console him. And find out what the fuck just happened. I slowly approached the bed and sat down about a foot away from Liam.

"Liam are you okay?"

"No Kay do you really fucking think I'm okay? Do you know what just happened? My father is fucking dead!"

I did not expect that to come out of his mouth. That was about the furthest thing from my mind. I mean, I sorta guessed it was about his dad, but I did not think that he stopped breathing. Now I have to find out the details.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked.

He turned his head to look at me, as to make sure that I was still actually there and wasn't an illusion. His head turned back to his original position and he started speaking.

"My mom just called me up sobbing and she could barely make out a damn word. She told me the prison had called her and told her the news about my dad. I hate him Kay. I fucking hate him. He's dumb as hell but he's still my dad. I just can't believe it"

I awkwardly rubbed his back not really knowing what to say. I wanted to know the story but one, I didn't know if there was one or if he even knew it, and two, that could result in abuse. I know things were going well but I didn't exactly trust his mental state or mine for that matter.

Liam turned his head and I immediately removed my hand from his back. He did not show any emotion at all. There wasn't anger or sadness, just nothing.

"Aren't you going to ask what happened?" Liam asked.

I looked down at my fiddling hands and quietly answered "I didn't want to pry"

"I'd actually like to talk about it. Maybe I can realize I should be feeling no sadness whatsoever by hearing from my own mouth what the asshole did."

I looked up, hoping he would catch my hint that I was going to listen.

"My father has been drinking for as long as I can remember. But not just drinking, doing heroine too. He's been sneaking into the kitchen and the staff room getting alcohol, and the infirmary to get needles. They found him dead in his cell with a needle in his arm and a broken beer bottle on the ground"

I couldn't muster any words that would make the situation any better so I just said "I'm sorry"

Liam didn't seem convinced but he didn't object to my reply. He got up and said "I'm gonna go get some air. You can hang out here if you want, and look around. I don't have anything to hide that you don't already know."

"Okay I'll be here when you get back" I answered. He nodded, grabbed his black leather jacket and left. At first, I didn't want to touch anything but I didn't have anything else to do so I decided to look through the bookshelf.

At the first glance there wasn't anything glamorous. Just a few books about gangs and murders. How lovely. As I moved down I saw a few photos of him and friends, all with either bottles, red cups, or cigarettes in hand. Then I saw a photo album. I started flipping through the pages and found a picture of Liam and who I'm guessing is his dad outside together. They are standing by a swingset and Liam's arms are wrapped around his fathers neck. They look like the two happiest people on the planet. Next to that, is a picture of Liam on his dads should holding on his hair, beaming.

I put the album back and was about to leave the room when I saw a spiral notebook peeking out of the bottom shelf. I picked it up and saw it was titled "Poems & Songs"

It couldn't be. This wasn't Liam's, no way. I had to see for myself.

I sat down on the bed and opened to the first page. It was a poem titled "Hidden" and read:

"Hidden

What emotion is hidden? What can you feel but not see? Love right? Wrong.

You can see love in a person's eyes and see how they smile when they're with their special person.

But the one thing that is hidden is sadness. Sadness deeper than just the tears rushing down your face. Sadness that eats you alive but is covered with a smile or wrong-doing.

This sadness is mine. This sadness is eternal. And this sadness is the thing that no one can understand."

This sadness is mine. Liam wrote this. Liam is depressed. That explains everything. It explains why he does what he does. It all makes sense.

I heard the door open and Liam's footsteps coming down the hall as I struggled to close the notebook and put it back.

Then Liam's voice boomed "WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT"

A/N:

I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING I FEEL LIKE AN AWFUL PERSON.

Okay well there's that chapter. Can someone please tell me some good fanfics to read? I've read a bunch and need some really good ones. Thanks! ~Kat