Only Bad Girls Get Good Grades

Just when I thought I was out.

"You're What?" I ask in pure shock, staring at him in shock. he sighs, but then remembers Hannah.

"Youre not gonna tell them, right Hannah?" he says in a child like voice. she nods, looking as shocked as I feel. He sighs in relief as he looks back at me. "I was scared by the feeling. I mean, I think I'm bi, but it's terrifying to know that in a homophobic world, you're gay"

I don't think I've ever seen him so...Sincere. He looks like when Freddy came out. He was so scared of it. He was scared of how people would judge him. He didn't even leave his room for a week. And its kind of funny, because at that time, he had a small crush on James. Im not that bitch who dates their best friends crush though, I made sure it was okay. That was before he thought he was a douche bag. (But personally, I think he called him that just to get over him. I still feel bad about that.)

"C'mere" I say to his shaken state. He lifts himself up from the chair, walks over to me, and does something I never would've even dreamed of him doing three weeks ago. He lays his head on my shoulder. And cries. I wrap my arms around him and gesture for Hannah come and join our hug, which she quickly does, smuggling into the other side of me.

"I hate myself, Ris. I hate this feeling" he says through the cries, a raspy voice it is. "I don't understand it."

"I think you need to talk to Freddy, Josh. He's the only one who really understands this feeling. I've never really went through it. But I do know that one day you will find someone who will love you. Okay? You can't hide this type of thing from people or you'll never find something more. Yeah, people might leave you. They aren't real friends. The real ones will stick through it with you, and help you. Okay?"

"You're right, Ris. I'm sorry for being such a dick to you for all these years." He says, gripping my waist tightly like a little boy begging for forgiveness.

"It's okay Joshua. As long as I can finally have my brother." He smiles and nods.

Eventually they left, walking out way too late. It was even past the visitor hours, but Dr. Shepherd let them pass. I love that man. I'm glad I have met him.

The next morning, I woke up to Gerard standing over me with this excitedly Nervous look on his face.

"You'll never believe what happened yesterday." He says, lying down next to me. I rub my eyes and sit up slightly, to look into his eyes better.

"What is it?" I says with a slightly scratchy voice. He giggles and wraps his arm around my waist.

"So last night I was grading some drawings, and I got a call. When I answered it, you will not believe who it was." I lay my head on his chest as he talks.

"Who?"

"It was a manager from Eyeball Records. They called to sign us. We are recording in a couple of days!" The excitement for him ran through me. That's so amazing! I'm so proud of them.

"That's awesome Gee!" I say hugging him tightly. His grin I so proud and happy that it spreads over to me. "You can be my rock star boyfriend" he laughs.

"I know!! And as soon as we finish recording, which he said would most likely be in three weeks, We can tour! How great is that?!?" My heart stopped for one second, and you could tell from the heart monitor. But he didn't notice because he was still celebrating.

He would be on tour.

I would be alone.

I wouldn't have him all the time. I probably wouldn't see him for months. I don't like this. But I can't say anything, that would break his heart to know I didn't support him.

"Hey, are you okay? Do I need to call a nurse?" I look up to him, realizing I'm sweating and breathing heavier than before. I can hear the speedy heart rate play on the monitor above me.

But I just pull on a plastic smile and nod.

"Yeah I'm fine. I'm really happy for you, Gee." He just shows of this proud smirk, making me feel bad for ever even thinking about myself in this situation.

"I love you Ris." He says, kissing me lightly.

"I love you too." I say half heartedly. He doesn't notice and we just lay together snuggled into each other and holding hands. It's so much different, this one moment that actually had peace. It's unlike anything. Gerard is like the eye of a storm. He's the calm moment when everything else is hectic. And I fell asleep in this serenity of a moment, even if it was only a light daze.

But it came to an end way too soon as doctor Sheppard had to check everything again to make sure the drugs hadn't affected my brain in a terrible way. When he stepped in, he noticed the other body in my bed, who was staring back at the doctor with the widest eyes possible. He looked terrified beyond belief as he jumped up.

"It wasn't-"

"I already know about it. I'm sworn to secrecy." He smirks over at me in a funny way, making me laugh lightly. He seems like he actually cares. He looks down at me worried.

"You aren't telling everyone are you? I mean, we can't just trust anyo-" he begins to ramble so I just cut him short.

"He is a good guy, Gee. I trust him." I see the Doctors cheeks warm lightly from that. He clicks his tongue and pulls his clip board out.

"Well I need to run some tests with Clarissa right now, they'll all be done within an hour. But If they go well, I think she might get to leave later today."

Gerard smiles and stands up, pecking my lips lightly. "Then we can invite the band over ad we can celebrate!" He says hugging me. I sigh and nod. He pecks my lips once more before standing up.

"Love you"I feel my cheeks become a rosey hue from the care he shares towards me. When he says love, he always says it strong. As if making sure I knew.

"Love you too. See you later!" I say, waving at him as he passes through the door. Derek, my doctor, sighs.

"You wanna know something funny?" He speaks as he replaces the IV bag filled with vitamins and whatever the hell they put in there.

"What?"

"You really didn't even have to tell me he's a teacher. Seems damn young to me. Looks like a teenager" and to that, I laugh. Hard. Because Gerard is most definitely no immature teenager.