Only Bad Girls Get Good Grades

Woke up around two in the mornin'

"I'm Jimmy" the spikey haired man says, sticking his hand out to me to shake. Holy shit, this is Jimmy Urine. I'm freaking out. I place my shaky hand In his and attempt to shake it.

"Cl-Clarissa." I sigh out with wide eyes. He laughs a little bit from my nervousness. I smile nervously as Gerard soothingly rubs my shoulder. Kitty suddenly hugs me tightly.

"You are so adorable!" She lets go and laughs, backing away. My eyes are wide with surprise and shock from how sudden that was. I finally start loosening up, Giggling.

"Thank you"

"ah there you go, now you're not being so shy!" Frank says, Giggling. I turn around and smack his arm.

"Don't be a dick, Frankie" they all laughed at me and I smirked. This should be fun.

.
.
.
I had now met the used too, and surprisingly when Bert offers Gerard a beer, he takes it. I hadn't really seen him drink that much.

Don't get me wrong, Bert seems like a nice person, but by the way that jepha, a friend of Bert's, looked at him, I don't know what to think. I just decide to stick with Frankie, whose chatting with LynZ and Steve Righ? While Jimmy's chatting with Gee and Bert. I just sit quietly, feeling worn and feeling slightly overwhelmed. This is the most I've done in a while.

"Hey Frankie I'm gonna go for a walk, okay?" He looks at me worriedly.

"Are you sure that's the best idea? I mean after. . . That night. ." I sigh inwardly, thinking of that night. But I shake it off, forcing a smile.

"I'll be fine." He looks indecisive for a moment, but in the end he reluctantly nods.

"Okay, but please be back before it gets dark."he smiles softly and I nod, hopping up and grabbing my jacket, pulling it over the T-shirt I'm wearing. I quickly slip away from the crowd, walking past the tour buses and onto the sidewalk. I breath in deeply, being alone always makes me feel more depressed. It gives me a chance to brew with my thoughts, especially when I feel overwhelmed like this.

They just come to me I guess.

My hands tug the jacket closer, as if hiding from a chill that isn't even there, a chill from within.

I pass by a park, seeing this one couple playing in a park. He's smiling,, pushing her on the swing. I could hear her laughing from here.

I couldn't help but feel jealous.

I do appreciate Gerard. I love him, even.

But why can't we have that. If we were both the same age or at least closer than we were. Why can't we just have a normal relationship, where If we ever got married and had kids I could say I met him in a bookstore or a coffee shop, not my 5th period in high school.

Why did I have to go for my teacher?

I sit on a bench feeling depressed and blaming myself. It has to be, it usually is anyway.

My mind just continues to get deeper and darker until I'm completely and utterly depressed.

"Shit franks gonna be mad at me. I better go."I say, looking at the sky. I stand and turn the way towards the tour buses. Suddenly I feel something stick in my back and I freeze. A low growls voice says 'this is a stick up' and I almost freak out, but I realize it's a joking voice. I turn, looking at the face of the person who was pushing his girlfriend on the swings. My eyes widen with a wide smile on my face.

"Jack!" I exclaim, hugging him tightly.

"Hey not so little tikes, how've you been??" Jack was Noah's best friend for a lot of my life, that's why he called me little tikes when I was younger, I used to hate it.

"I've been fine" I say forcing a smile.

"Ah so not so good, what's wrong?"

"Just a lot of shits happened recently, I just really wish he could be here with me right now."

"Rissy you know he's always with us."

I nod. "Yeah I know. But enough about me, who's that missy over there?"

He holds up his hand that had a shimmering gold wedding band on it. "My wife, Mary. She's amazing. We have a daughter who's two also but she's with the babysitter for the night."

"Oh congrats Jack! I'm so happy for you." And that was true, I was happy for him. Just made me feel a bit worse on my part.

"What about you have you met your someone special."

"Yeah I've met someone special. . ." I smile at the thought of Gerard.

"Well, who is it?" Should I tell him? Should I not?

I weigh it out and decide these exact words.

What the fuck have I got to loose.

"Gerard. . .way."I blush a bright red.

"As in. . .the art teacher Gerard way?"he asks. I nod softly."holy shit, that's crazy dude. But I'm not judging. He's definitely a good guy." I sigh in relief.

"Thank you."I pause." You should probably get back to your lady, but I'm so glad I saw you."

"Oh yeah i should. But here"he pulls my hand, pulling a sharpie from his pocket as he scribbles down numbers."if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here. I've missed you, little Jackson. I'm glad u saw you too."

I smile and hug him once more, then watch him rush back to his Mary. I smile, walking back to where I came from.
---
I arrive at the buses, seeing everyone's now either tipsy or drunk. I sigh, entering the tour bus and lying down.

After a small bit I hear the door open,but I ignore it trying to fall asleep.

Soon I feel lips on my neck and I jump, pulling away from them. The grab my arm , keeping the lips on my neck and they moan. The voice is definitely Gerard's but he's not acting normal.

"G-gee stop." I whisper.

"Baby come on it's me" he climbs on top of me, holding me down as he kisses my neck. Even if it is Gerard, I still start panicking, starting to breath heavy.

"G-Gerard p-please stop, please?" He still refuses, starting to slide his hands up my shirt.

"GERARD! STOP!" I yell, finally reaching a panic attack. I finally push him away while crying, pulling my knees into myself and hugging them. I hear the door open, frank and Mikey rushing in and seeing the situation. I continue sobbing, my mind replacing Gerard with Ashton.

"Clarissa I'm so-"he puts his hand on my shoulder and I feel a snap inside me.

"Get off of me!" I yell, smacking his hand away.all of this added up made me jump back to then. The potent smell off alcohol, him forcing me down, his hands sliding up in my shirt.

It was like a real life flash back of him added up into one moment.

He looks at me sadly, stumbling off the bunk and past frank. Mikey helps him out of the bus to get fresh air.

"Ris, are you okay?" Frank asks softly. I look at him, trying to hold my fixed composure. But my lip starts to tremble, and soon, I burst into a puddle of tears. He climbs onto the bed, rubbing my back softly and hugging me. Ray comes in, wondering why Gerard's out there crying and angry when he sees me.

"What happened?!" He says, quickly hopping onto the other side of me. I shake my head.

"Nothing. . .I'm a wimp is what happened."

"You are not! Any girl in your situation would be scared." Frank says. He then explains to Ray, who just gently rubs my back.

"It wasn't him, Ris, you know that right?" I nod.

"Can I just go to sleep? I'll sleep on the couch in the back. And no protesting, I'm going to." They both nod, hugging me and saying goodnight.

I grab a blanket, heading back to the couch and lying down.

And no matter how hard I try, I couldn't sleep. Even after everyone got to bed, I was left awake. Must be the stress.