Only Bad Girls Get Good Grades

Love Is Blindness, I dont Wanna See.

.:Freddy pov:.

I sit on top of the black bedspread on my bed in my own room, tears streaking down my face. I had a complete and total breakdown when James left. I'm almost positive this is purely my fault. I didn't notice. I never noticed her falling when she had noticed me falling.

What kind of friend am I?

I'm so blind. I didn't even notice her dying on the inside. I was blinded by love. I was so distracted by the secret love of James And I that I didn't even notice the loneliness of Clarissa. Fuck, why is she my friend.

I'm so careless.

I grip a pillow to my chest, trying my hardest to keep whatever masculinity I still hold attached to me by not crying. I can usually keep a strong posture, stay strong. But not through this. This is just a punch in the face. But it feels more like a stab in the back, and I'm the one who did it. I can't do it any longer. I have to break my once vow. It's too hard for me to just stick through.

And on this night, for the first time in a long while, I cried. I cried like a mother fucking baby.

And you know what?

It felt fucking good. Anything I've pent up, everything trapped between the walls of my sight and mind flow freely down my face. They just roll, taking everything from the last two years and spewing it out In a salty, liquid form.

Everything falls, all the walls come down.

Everything flows through my mind in a fast motion as I grip this plaid blue pillow to my chest. I scoot myself under the blankets, clutching them to me too. I feel like I'm dying, but at the same time I feel like I'm flying. I'm release all the pain, all the complete and utter agony I bottled up. All of those moments that I was passive.

This is different than when I was crying in front of James. That was from the complete shock I was in. I had literally no other alternative.

This, this is so much more to me. It's not even only about her anymore. It's everything. All of the secrets. All of the pain. All of the temptations. Everything And I'm just letting them go free. They shouldn't have been hoarded away in the first place. I really shouldn't be so passive. I never tell anyone how I feel, I just act like it's not there.

God I don't think I've ever felt so terrible and so empty and so. . .

Free.

.:Clarissa:.

When the time comes, Gerard walks up to me with two cups of gas station coffee in his hands. He pushes on forward for my taking. I sit up, taking the warm cup in my hands and taking a sip of the French vanilla pleasure.

"Hey, I was rushing so I just picked some up when I got gas, I hope that's okay-"

"Gee it's fine. I'm not one of those picky girls. God, they get irritating" I smirk at him sighing in relief. He's so adorable. I don't act like those little white girls who HAVE to have Starbucks, do I? Not that I don't enjoy one every now and again, it just gets expensive. He wraps his hand around mine, tugging me towards the main desk, and inevitably checking out of my safety zone. Now comes the hard part of stepping back into the real world.

I Step into the cooling air, feeling is rush around me as the revolving door opens to the light. I squint to the light but eventually adjust to brightness. Gerard's Hand is still latched to mine in a caring way. I look over to him with a nervous smile and he returns a bright one. 

What Frank, Ray, And I agreed was that I stay at Gerard's so I can get to school easily, and plus he can watch over me. Frank was Slightly more than annoyed by the fact that he is dating me and now I'm living with him, but we reassured him that he can always check in with us if he wants.

I hop In Gerard's car, not even realizing that I've been dragged over here. My mind is so many places at once. I couldn't stop thinking about how I'm not going to be seeing three important people in my life for a while. Its slightly devastating. 

Yet again, I failed to realize the driving to his house. 

"Hey, are you Okay Ris?" He says, popping me out of my trance. Interesting question, Am I okay?

No, I'm Definitely Not okay.

But I plaster on a fake smile and nod gently, not revealing any of my hidden emotions. He smiles an actual smile, seeming to happy to be brought down. I'm not a mean person, I would never ruin this mood. He seems so happy about his upcoming future. i could never let that one sided,c crooked teethed smile fall because of me.

"Im fine, Gee."

"Good, Lets go inside"

Screw You April Fools.