UNSTEADY .. n

23

The following days were uncomfortable for both Negan and Amelia. She had practically locked herself in her room completely; no meals, no sleep. All she had was the silence provided by the empty space and her thoughts. Alone in the dark, on some nights, Amelia would pretend she could hear the familiar ticking of her old clock in her old room. The loneliness seemed overbearing sometimes, but Amelia knew she couldn't speak to anyone without breaking down into madness. The Sanctuary had driven her to the darkest place she had ever been, and the empty pit that had made itself at home in her stomach had only grown in size and strength. Everything seemed to collapse into that gaping hole, causing Amelia to shrivel at any given trigger.

It was hell.

Negan had noticed her distance as well. Using his masculinity to shield his mild worry, he usually shut himself away in his busy work, dealing with whatever threat "The Delusions" seemed to be throwing menacingly towards the Sanctuary. Between the stress of actual business and trying to figure out how to deal with Amelia, Negan had been quite snippy with his men. Simon had especially been getting the tail-end of his attitude, and he seemed completely oblivious as to the cause. In a pitiful way, he thought he himself had done something wrong.

But Negan had more important things to think about other than if he were hurting Simon's feelings or not. He didn't give a rats ass about him, or anyone... That's what he had thought.

Amelia still seemed to somehow be placed in a corner of his mind, taunting like a cruel joke. It truly pissed him off, no matter how he tried to deal with it. Negan tried drinking, killing off walkers, beating the shit out of prisoners, but nothing seemed to work.

That girl was still there.

It only caused the frustration to boil because of the unknowing mercy he had on the young woman. If it were any other woman denying him pleasure, he would have had her thrown to the walkers, or worse; his other men. Not with Amelia. No, he wanted to keep her, for whatever sick and twisted reason that might be. He wanted to hide her away as his own, but accepting that idea into his head only confirmed Negan had a weakness. Negan didn't want a weakness, and he sure as hell didn't want no damn girl holding him back from remaining at the top.

But what was he supposed to do? It's not like he could just talk to Amelia about all of this. No, Negan would rather shove a spoon down his damn throat than have to talk about feelings. Instead, he preferred to express his frustration through sexual activity, but given the circumstances, that couldn't really happen. Then again, even if he wanted to talk to Amelia, it's not like he could. She wouldn't come out of her room. She wouldn't answer the door, never left to get food. For all Negan knew, she was deteriorating in her own depression.

No one came to say hello to her, either. Well, that's a lie. Sean did stop by every now and again to bring her new reading material he had picked up during a scouting, maybe start some small talk. It was obvious Amelia was a shell. She was sick in her mind and barely had the emotional strength to speak. But Sean was patient. He hated seeing her like this, even if he only saw her twice a week.

One midmorning, Sean had finished his round at the main house as a guard, so he decided to drop by Amelia's room with some of the fresh strawberries that were being grown in the garden as a means to cheer her up some. Of course, he knew there was a very little chance it would actually work, but boy, did he miss the way she used to be.

Sporting his usual denim button-down shirt, Sean maneuvered through the halls of the head-building until he reached the door to Amelia's suite. Without bothering to knock, he softly opened the door.

"Buena mañana galleta dura." Sean gave his usual half-smirk, entering the room and leaving the door ajar. Sunlight streamed through the curtains, though they didn't seen to bother Amelia. Her head remained buried under a pillow, the only visible evidence of her existence being the soft rise-fall pattern of her breathing through the sheets. "No good morning?" Sean teased. She didn't answer. "I brought you some breakfast, if you get hungry. The strawberries were harvested earlier. They're real fresh, best time of the year to get your hands on them." He picked one up and popped it into his mouth.

"I'm not hungry." Amelia mumbled from her position on the bed. Sean sighed.

"Well, you haven't been hungry the past two weeks. You need to get something in your system other than your own spit." He told her, pulling a chair over near her bed side. "Can you pull your head up at least when I'm talking to you? Table manners, kid." Amelia paused before pulling her messy-haired head from beneath the pillows. She looked absolutely pitiful, eyes raw from crying the night before. Sean winced, but Amelia only sank back into her spot. "It's just a joke, I'm sorry." Sean tried to convince her. She only sighed, sitting herself up.

"I'm sorry, Sean. It's just..." She stopped talking, trying to find the words to speak. "It's been a hard few weeks...or months." Amelia told him, as if he didn't already know. Sean stifled a laugh, shaking his head. He reached over to the basket of strawberries before handing one to Amelia. She looked at it hesitantly before slowly putting it between her lips to let it dissolve slowly instead of chewing.

"Wanna go for a walk?" He asked her. Amelia didn't answer. She only swallowed the dried-down contents of her throat and picked at her nails. "I think it would help you...clear your head, ya know?" Sean said softly.

"I'm fine, thank you." She folded her hands over her lap, toying with her thumbs.

"Amelia, I promise. It's fine, I'm not gonna parade you across the goddamn courtyard. I just wanna take you somewhere. You'll feel all better afterwards, I promise." Sean told her with a nod. The girl looked up slowly, wanting to cry. She didn't want to answer or reply. She just wanted to sleep.

"No..." Amelia whispered. Sean held his gaze for a few more seconds before sighing.

"Alright. Your choice." He stood up, glancing down at the strawberries. He idly pointed to it. "Eat more of these. They're good for you." He said nonchalantly. Amelia sank back into the sheets as she felt tears begin to well in her eyes once more. Sean looked back at the girl from the doorway, only to be greeted with the heartbreaking sight of the purest symbol of strength and innocence crushed in anguish laying in a puddle of satin and tears. Amelia was truly broken, and he wanted her fixed. "Take a nap or something, it might help." Sean offered blandly, not sure of what else to say.

And then he left, not sure of whether or not Amelia was able to put herself back together again.

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henlo babies, i missed you!!
ik the expected chapter was mostly Am&Sean development, but because of the plot route i have decided to take, im using this as a simple filler instead. i hope none of you are mad lmao ;;) but yes, here's just a little bit of what else is to come!