The last time I came back home I swore never to do so again.
I came home to an extremely sick mother. She looked like death. Face sunken, bones poking out. It hurt to walk, she explained, and there were dark spots beneath, her feet. She said it hurt to talk, too. It was like every breath was inhaling and exhaling pain. She had lost most of her hair. I thought it was cancer initially.
I regretted coming home. I regretted the whole holiday, because it was full of pain and emotions running high. I couldn't go anywhere, out of guilt. I spent as much time as I could with my siblings. I wondered why no one told me the whole time, because I knew that the sickness has been going on for a long time. Or maybe because they sensed that I wouldn't care less.
Regret again because of the words that was spoken. Because the truth unraveled it self .
******
On an early Wednesday morning, when the sky was on the verge of breaking, mum called Mariah and I to her room. We exchanged confused looks, Mariah and I, as we walked.
She was silent for sometime, before she started to speak.
"I'm sure you both know why you're here. You both can see that I'm not so strong at this point. What I can't understand is how you both are being so ignorant of the whole situation"
I shifted a bit. Ignorant?
"You came home, a few days ago, Hadassah. Not once did you come to take care of me, ask of my health, my wellbeing. You just act like everything is normal. What would those gifts mean? All the things you bought for me means nothing"
I so desperately want to roll my eyes. What is this woman on about please?
"And you, Mariah. Don't I go to the full maximum for you, when you fell sick didn't you see the way I cared for you"
Mariah didn't reply. I knew she was just thinking at how unnecessary this is.
"Don't you see how Sara used to care for her mother when she was ill, she doesn't even go out to meet people she stays with her mother until she is sure. You both just act like everything is fine, you see people care for me and you don't say anything"
Something inside of me was boiling. I didn't want to be rude or anything but I was just keeping quiet.
And so what? Huh?
"See you might not have much time with me left. Take care of me as you should. All these ignorant-"
"All what? All what ignorant act mom!" I speak loudly, getting up. Mariah tries to drag me down but I slap her hand off.
Mum stares, looking so surprised to react at my outburst .
"Hadassah, you dare speak to me like that?" Mum speaks.
I'm angry now, every thing bursts out fully .
"You come here and complain about us? Over something YOU BOTH caused?"
Dad walks into the room now, dressed for work.
"Darling, what's going on?"
"Your daughter" She points, "Now thinks she can say whatever she likes. If I wasn't so weak I'll deal with you" She threatens.
