Zayn Malik - Ziana

Chapter 5 - Every Breath - Part 8

Chapter 5 - Every Breath - Part 8

I began to wonder where in the world I had gone wrong. Why is everything getting so tough for me? I walked slowly and purposefully towards my favorite secluded spot, where I often went to sort out my jumbled thoughts, which were racing through my mind. I gazed at the gushing stream of roaring water before me and felt and inner sense of utmost peace coming over my troubled senses. The tranquil serenity of the surrounding made me feel entirely at one with nature and I feel reveled in the feeling of being alone without any one to complicate things in any way. I looked around and appreciated the lovely rich greenery of the trees and grass everywhere around me. I loved the bright, vibrant and chirpy colors of the flowers that greatly enhanced my surrounding. The endless singing of the summer birds never ceased to bring a wistful smile to my face. All these exquisite sights made me forget almost my problems instantly and everything else that was bothering me. I took in a deep breath and took a stroll in the park. I was supposed to meet Zac & the lads yesterday, but I cancelled it. My mind was in a mess. I really don't know what to do. Guide me, please. I walked around the park, aimlessly when suddenly, my phone vibrated. I didn't even bother to check it. I continued walking aimlessly around the park when someone sneaked behind me and covered my eyes. 'Guess who?', the familiar voice whispered in my ears. "Hmm... Zac, is that you?' I replied. 'Zac? Who is that? Turn around now, babe' He said. Without hesitating, i turned around. I still kept my eyes close, not wanting to see who is in front of me. He took a step closer to me and run his fingers through my hair. 'Open your eyes' he said lovingly. I open up my eyes slowly.

Zayn was standing right infront me. He had his red hoodie and blue track pants on. He smiled widely and took a step closer to me. I was staring deeply in his brown eyes, just like the first time we met. I got lost in his eyes & I can't look away. He bend down a little and stared at my lips for quite some time. He brought his head closer to my lips. I closed my eyes tightly. He then tilt his head a little and kissed my right cheek. 'I miss you babe' He finally voiced out. I didin't respond. He then hugged me tightly, not letting go. 'Let me go,Zayn' I said. 'I miss you' He said, not letting me go. 'Let her go,Zayn' someone shouted. I couldn't recognize his voice,though. Upon hearing his voice, Zayn, slowly let go of me. I turned around to see who it was. Tears streamed down my face when I saw Zac walking towards me. 'You alright?' he asked. 'I am' I replied and lean in for a hug. Zac gave me a tight hug and kissed my head softly. 'Well, this must be Zac, right?' Zayn asked and forced a smile. I nodded my head. 'Zac, this is Zayn. Zayn, this is Zac' I introduced and they gave each other a hug. 'I'll leave you guys.' Zayn said and plastered a smile. 'Bye. Take care' I replied. He didin't even looked back to smile or wave goodbye.

Zayn's POV

I walked away, my world tumbling down. How can I look at her? How can I turn around to say goodbye to her, knowing another guy is holding her? How can I hide this tears from her? How can I pretend that everything is alright? How can I smile sincerely, just like the old times? Can I just have one  more chance to hold her in my arms, to wake up to her voice, to receive her text, to have her watching my performance on stage? Can I? Tars formed in my eyes. How my heart ached. I was crushed and I could barely breathe. My lungs burned as I tried to breathe normally. My heart shattered. My thoughts whirled and I cried as hard as I could, but it didn't help to ease the pain in my heart. I wanted to kill myself, leaving behind all this pain. I walked back to the dorm and locked myself in the room. Niall wasn't it the room. I was unsure where he and the lads were. There I was in my room, totally alone for the first time in my life and I did not know anyone else in the entire world. I felt so lost and unwelcome. No one was there when I turned my head. This pain in my chest is unbearable. I buried myself  in my pillow and cried everything out. Even though it was 11 am in the morning, i refused to get out from bed. I pulled up my blanket, hiding under the blanket still weeping. My broken heart was still and for a moment, I only felt numbness. And then an anger and sadness surged through me with so much power, I knew not what to do. My heart stopped beating, for it had only beat for her. My mind went black, as did his heart. It was like being trapped alone in the darkest abyss with a sword pierced through my heart. This broken heart is silent, it can't be seen but the blood bleeds inside. I refused the answer any of the lad's call. All I wanna do is lay in bed, doing nothing. Just then, I heard a a loud knock on my wooden door.  I can barely get up. 'Zayn. you in there?' I heard Niall's voice as he continuously knocked on the door.  I dragged myself out of bed, dragging both my feet to the door. I unlocked the door for Niall, faced the ground and dragged both my feet to my bed again. 'You okay,bud?' Niall asked as he sat on my bed. 'Uh..' I said as I pulled my blanket over me. 'What's wrong? You know, you can always count on me' Niall comforted me and pulled down my blanket. I laid on my back and stared at the ceiling, ignoring Niall's questions.  Niall then tickled me & I managed to smile. 'Tell me' Niall said as he poked my waist. 'Fine. I met Diana just now, I gave her a surprise, gave her a hug, telling her  I miss her. & all she could do was to tell me to let her go. Zac then appeared out of no where. & both of them hug. Diana refused to hug me, but she gladly hug Zac. I'm hurt, Niall, I really am. This hurts so bad.' I explained, as I continued to shed tears. 'Hm.. I know it hurts so bad, but, recalled on how much pain you inflicted on Diana. Was it fair for you to treat her that way? Was it fair for you to leave her alone and make out with some other girls? She stood by you though your good and bad times & all you can do is to push her away. You lost her now. I'm sorry bud, Stay strong. You'll do fine' Niall said and left the room. What Niall said hit me hard. I realized that I have hurt Diana too much. I wanna see her one last time. Just one last time. I stretched my hand out, trying to find my phone. Time flies, & it's now 8 pm. I have been in bed all day. My fingers weakly typed in 'Diana's name and sent her a text. I weakly get out of bed and grab my jacket, walking towards the park. I kept hitting my chest, hoping this pain will go away.

I finally arrived at the park, waiting patiently for Diana. I closed my eyes, my hand still hitting my chest, hard. 'Hey Zayn' I suddenly heard a sweet voice. I rubbed my eyes and looked up, seeing Diana in front of me. she smiled sweetly and I tried to force a smile. She sat down beside me, waiting patiently for me to say something. I scrunched my shirt, bearing this pain in my chest. 'I miss you' I started off. She nodded her head. 'This pain in my chest in unbearable, i can't face it. It hurts. I'm sorry for everything. I really am. I realised I have been such a fool to ever let go of you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.' I said as I hit my chest, harder and harder. Diana grabbed both my hands. 'stop it' she said. 'Stop hurting yourself. The pain in your chest, will go away soon. I have gone through it. Stop it Zayn. You are better than this' she said and stood up. I grab her right wrist and turn her around to face me. The tears kept flowing and I couldn't stop it. I got down on both my knees, looking down on the ground. 'D...on't leave' I said, my voice shaking. 'Z...ayn' she said, her voice shaking as well. 'Don't go. Just don't. Stay with me. I can't do this. Don't leave me Diana. Please' I begged. I had to do this. 'Stand up,' Diana said as he helped me up. She leaned closer to me and wrap her arms around my waist, tightly. She placed her head on my chest. All I could do was to hug her back,weakly. 'I.....' i said before I collapsed to the ground.

'ZAAAAAYN!' I shouted, tapping his right cheeks. 'Zayn, don't leave. Don't' I said. 'I have never stopped loving you. I love you so much Zayn. Wake up' I said, shaking his body. Zayn then slowly open up his eyes and pulled me down, so I was on top of him. 'You were worried.' Zayn teased as he kissed my forehead.

I smiled with tears in my eyes. Am i doing the right thing?