Our New Family (a Shawn Mendes Fanfic)

Dragging me down or lifting me up?

Everyone refuses to tell me anything, but I can tell something's wrong. I honestly feel like someone's gonna walk through the door any second and tell me Shawn left. Gone for good. That he left behind not only me but our children, and that I'm completely alone. Have you ever felt numb? Like your body's trying to prepare you for horrible news and it's shutting down some of your emotions so the bad news won't hurt as much. Well that's pretty much how I've felt since I woke up in a hospital bed. The only people I've see so far is doctors and nurses, none of my family nor Shawn who may of may not have left me forever.

While lost in thought I hadn't even noticed who'd walked in the room.

"Hey princess, I heard you were so distracted by your need to see me you got into a little fender bender" Shawn's voice said settling my thoughts of whether I'd ever see him again.

"Well look who it is. Is that my best friend Shawn Mendes? Haven't seen him in awhile. He'd been replaced by this asshole Shawn and man was he awful" I played along.

"Yeah but your best friends back. But I'm afraid I come baring some bad news" he continued.

"Oh god please tell me Emily and Emma are fine" I exclaimed as horrors of bad things happening to my little girls filled my brain.

"No they're fine, perfect actually. However in the accident your stomach slammed against the air bag with extreme impact and you lost the baby. I'm so sorry Ashley" Shawn explained.

"Oh my god...Is it bad that no I'm not relieved or upset but I'm just flat I guess. I don't know how to describe it but I couldn't handle another kid by myself Shawn, we couldn't even handle another kid together." I explained as he listened to my every word.

"Ashley, I love you and I should have never cheated on you, but I did. However you gathered every ounce of good in you and let me be apart of our daughters lives. I could never repay you for that, I wouldn't even know where to start. And I went through a stage where I believed I was destined to become my father but I should've realized you were probably scared of becoming your mother. We both got dealt a pretty shitty hand however I buckled under pressure and you managed to keep going. You should've never gotten pregnant in the first place, you were going places and didn't deserve that but you made the very best out of it and when I was there you found the girls a father and a man you came to love but I ruined that for you. Now you have Niall who loves the girls and you and I can guarantee wouldn't cheat on you. I'm prepared to be a great father to the two little girls we have and go back to being your best friend if you'd except me. But don't let me get in the way of your happiness any longer. Go out with Niall. Don't let me hold you back anymore." Shawn explained, causing tears to form in my eyes.

"Shawn I didn't know you were going through that but you should've told me, we were dating and you should've trusted me. Plus I knew you were never you're father joe was I my mother. And your right I shouldn't have gotten pregnant but I did and to be honest I wouldn't change a thing cause now we have the girls. But as for Matt and Niall, they're better without me. Maybe I'm just not meant to find a guy or find happiness for the rest of my life. But I would love if you'd be my best friend again, I haven't seen that side of you in years. And for the record you've never held me back" I replied hoping to ease everything of Shawn's mind since I could tell there was a lot. " But I should tell you, I'm in love with you Shawn Mendes, I can't seem to shake it. Through thick and thin I will always choose you and in the future I wanna be with you, maybe you're my lifetime of happiness"...

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Guys omg almost 30k readers, like what?! But you guys asked me to update so here's a little something. I started school in a different place and they let you use your phone so expect more frequent chapters

Xoxo