My Fucking Mixed Up Love Triangle

Scared and Lonely

Who do I blame for my heartbreak? The asshole who broke my heart or myself for giving it away carelessly. It's my fault for my own heartbreak. I feel in love with a boy I only knew for a week. So basically was it really love or lust? Lust is the mind tricking you and love is the heart guiding you? Isn't your body suppose to be in sync? So why is my mind wanting something different than my heart. My mind is telling me to stay away from Ethan but my heart is telling me to talk to him and find out what happened. So i've made a decision on who to listen to. Fuck my heart I was going to listen to my mind.

I got up at six am and got in the shower and washed my body. I got out the shower and put on my undergardments and walked into my closet to decide what I was going to wear. I put on a lace bustier, coral high waisted skirt and my white Christian Louboutin flats. I went back into the bathroom and middle parted my hair and did loose curls. After I finished my hair I went over to my jewlery box and put on my Chanel logo studs. I grabbed my bookbag off the hook and my coral Micheal Kors purse and headed downstairs. I went over to the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of water and put it in my purse as I walked out the door. I put my stuff in the back seat and got in the passenger seat. "Here I got you some Chi tea and a brownie" Nathan said. 

"Thank you" I said taking the tea and brownie from him."So are you ready to tell me what's been going on with you" Nathan said. "What do you mean" I said. "You know exactly what I mean Kayla. You can't bullshit me I've beentaking you to and from school since you were in kindergarten and your the godmother to my daughter" Nathan said. "Ethan and I broke up" I said looking out the window. "Why" Nathan said. "I saw him kissing another girl" I said . "Kayla are you sure you saw what you think you saw because you could have misconstrued what happened" Nathan said. "You talked to him didn't you" I said turning towards Nathan. "Yes only because he called me because you wouldn't answer his calls" Nathan said.

"Your a trader" I said as I got out the car and got my bags. I slammed the door and began to walk up to the school building when Ethan blocked my way. "I'm not in the mood" I said walking around Ethan. "This is ridiculous Kayla just listen to me" Ethan said. "Ok let me guess it wasn't what it looked like" I said. "Exactly" Ethan said looking relieved. "Bullshit. Your a telepathic liar and what makes it worse is that you lied to me even though I saw you with my own eyes" I said. "Your not even giving me a chance to explain" Ethan said. "There's nothing left to explain Ethan we're over and there's nothing left to say about it" I said. "Goodbye Ethan" I said then walked away.

I felt like that goodbye wasn't just saying the conversation was over. It was like I was really ending the relationship. The sadist feeling is when someone breaks your heart and scenarios of what could have been run through your mind. I had decided that I wasnt going to be the girl who got her heart broken and wanted revenge because I was never a person to be spiteful. All I wanted was to wallow in my despair. 

I walked up the hallway and stopped infront of my locker and put in my combination and began to put my stuff away. I was taking my binder out of my bookbag when I heard a voice behind me. "You know your tearing him apart" Someone said. I turned around to see it was Jake. "Please spare me the dramatics" I said. "Kayla your crazy" Jake said. "Dont ever call me crazy again" I said. "I have given Ethan everything and he cheated on me". I'm not mad at him im just done" I said than slammed my locker and walked to first period. I walked into the chorus room and took a seat in the back. "Hello class today we're going to do solos" Ms.Johnson said. The whole class period the people who are usually in the back sang until class was over. After Ms.Johnson dismissed us I walked down the hallway towards the lunchroom. As soon as I was at the double doors at the entrace to the cafeteria I couldnt bring myself to go in. So I went to the library.

I read a book until lunch was over and went to third period. I walked into third period and sat down in the front. "class today is open discussion so feel free to jump in" Ms. Hilton said. "The human body is one of the strongest things in our life that we will have the power to control. "Specifically the human mind" Ms.Johnson said."I disagree" I said catching the attention of the whole class. "And why do you disagree Ms.Lewis" Ms.Johnson said. "Because something that is suppose to be quote on quote strong shouldn't be able to psych its self out" I said. "Care to elaborate" Ms. Johnson said. " such as fear. If the mind was strong it shouldn't be psyched out by fear only by danger" I said. "Very good Ms.Lewis" Ms.Johnson.