Something Just Like This || Bellarke AU

Ticking Time || Chapter Eighteen

Harper drove Clarke home, and she collected his stuff putting it at the door anticipating his arrival. His flight was the next day but he certainly wouldn't be staying with her. If he had of denied it, it would've made her feel maybe slightly better. Maybe it was a joke, maybe it never happened. Maybe she heard it wrong. But no, he didn't hesitate to say he could explain. He didn't hesitate to defend himself. He didn't hesitate to attempt to soften the blow. The look on his face said it all. Said that he was, in fact guilty. The fact that it came from Raven only proved it further. She wouldn't lie. But she didn't think Bellamy would either.

His 'I love you's' meant nothing. If you love someone, you don't sleep with their mortal enemy. You just... you don't do that. Clarke sat on the couch with Harper beside her and when the knock at the door came around 9pm that evening Clarke stayed still. Just as she had. A blank expression laid across her face as if she were completely and utterly frozen. Harper got the door and didn't say a word as it crept open. The air turned cold and Bellamy stood in the door way strong at his suitcase. Six went running into Clarke's lap and as much she wanted to turn her away, she didn't. She picked her up and held her softly in her lap, a tear escaping her eyes and falling onto the tip of Six's nose. "Clarke." Bellamy's deep voice echoed as he caught the glimpse of the back of her head.

She flinched at the sound of his deep voice. The same voice she grew to love and care for so deeply. But she wasn't able to turn to look at him.

"Please," he took a deep breath, his voice becoming nothing more than a quiver. "Let me explain."

Harper extends her arm in front of him, pushing against his chest to avoid the steps that he's started to take. Another tear fell from Clarke as she closed her eyes. She doesn't say anything.

"Clarke, I love you." He chokes out and she can hear the pain in his voice. But he's feeling nothing compared to the pain that is filling in her chest.

Harper laughs regretfully and turns around. She can't look at him. The disgust running through the air. "You love me?" Clarke whispered almost to herself but it's loud enough that Bellamy hears the crack in her voice.

"Of course I love you." He jumps over the bag on the floor and falls onto the couch beside her.

When Clarke sees his face for the first time, she knows he had been crying. The curl of his lips are low and heavy. And the way his shoulders slouch forward are enough to let her know that he's regretful. His skin is red and splotchy, bags already beginning at the bottom on his eye. "What did you do, Bellamy?" She looks him in the eyes and the pain that they're exchanging in just short glances is enough that could break any iceberg. He knows he made a mistake. It's evident, but there is nothing he could say or do to make her fell better. He couldn't fix her, not this time.

"I made a mistake." He's analyzing her face tying to read what she's thinking but for the first time he can't. For the first time, the freckles on her face are unfamiliar. The blue in her eyes are something he can't recognize which makes him feel even more uneasy. The girl he loves was not sitting here, she had left. She was checked out. "I fucked up."

"You fucked someone else." Her expression is bland as she swallows harshly. "You fucked Echo." It's what triggers another tear to fall and Bellamy reaches her her hand but she pulls it away. Six scoots from her lap and runs off to find Harper.

"It didn't mean anything." Bellamy's voice comes out a cold whisper.

"I trusted you, Bellamy. With very part of me, I ran to you with love and trust. You lost that when you crawled into bed with her."