See You Again - Niall Horan

Chapter 30

On the way home, not a word was spoken between us. Niall stared out the front window, hands gripping the steering wheel causing his knuckles to turn white. I would glance out the window, then look down at my stomach, and then to Niall. Chew on my lip, play with my fingers and then back to Niall.

He didn’t even say anything, only pursed his lips avoiding me. I continued to sit in my seat thinking. I was trying to think back through the past couple of months to understand how this could have happened.

We pulled up to the house and both walked into the house in silence. I took of my coat and shoes and sat down on the couch looking at my feet while Niall stayed by the door. I finally looked up to him, but before I could speak, he did first. It was more of a yell actually. “How could you let this happen?”

“Me, you think it was only me involved in this. I’m pretty sure you were there at some point too.”

“How do I know I was there?”

My mouth fell open. “Did you seriously just accuse me of cheating on you? I thought you knew me better than that and trusted me enough to know that I would never cheat on you. I loved you.” I was furious with him because he actually thought I could do that. “And besides, around the time this would have happened I was only with you. First we were on tour in Australia, next we went to Ireland and then went visited my family. I never had the time to be with anyone besides you.”

“But we were always safe.” He defended.

“Obviously not if I ended up pregnant.” I began to pace around the living room before I spoke again. “In the car, I was thinking about when this could have happened. It would have been around the end of October or beginning of November by what the doctor said. If you remember back to then, we were in Australia and my birth control ran out. We said we would make sure you wore protection until I could get some more when we came back to London.”

“And I did wear protection all the time.”

I spoke calmly, “I don’t think you did because in that time was the end of tour party in Japan. If you can think back to then, we both got really drunk that night and didn’t remember what happened when we woke up the next day. But we could assume what happened because we both woke up naked and hungover. And when I was packing our things the next day, I found the condoms still zipped up in your suitcase. I didn’t think much of it at the time but I’m guessing that night you didn’t wear one and that’s when it happened.”

He paced back and forth, pulling on the brown roots of hair. “Shit.” He continued to walk and finally sat down in the chair rambling, “This is going to ruin everything, the band, my career, and management is going to kill me. What will my family say? And the fans, the fans are going to hate me. What am I suppose to do? I can’t have a kid, I’m too young for this. I’m not responsible enough for this.”

“How do you think I feel?” My pregnancy emotions had started to get to me. Tears had started to run down my cheeks. The man I thought I love was more worried about himself and his life and cared nothing about how this was going to affect me. “The only thing you can think of is yourself!” I yelled at him. “There are two people here that are affected by this. Do you think I wanted to have a baby at 22? No, but it’s going to happen no matter if we like it or not. I was planning on going to school again and finishing my degree, now I have a baby to worry about!”

With all the yelling and my emotions running crazy, it sent me to the bathroom once again to get sick. This was the first time since the morning sickness had begun and Niall was home he didn’t come to the bathroom and help me somehow. When I was finished emptying my stomach and washed my mouth I walked back to where Niall was with my head down. I walked over to him and he looked up at me. I placed my hand on his shoulder trying to comfort him but he shrugged me off before he walked out the front door and slammed it behind him.