It'll Be Alright

Stupid Questions.

What do you want to be when you get older? When you were 5 this was a simple question. I want to be a princess, a ninja, the president. When your 10 it becomes more realistic. I want to be a model, a teacher, an athlete. Then when you're in high school it hits you. The fact you only have 4 years to decide what you want to be. Now those dreams you once had are thrown out the window, and you have to come to reality, maybe I should be a doctor, a lawyer, an accountant.

****

I want to be a Graphic Designer.

Oh so you're, going to be coloring on a screen?

It's more than that.

You should become a nurse, or a doctor like your cousin.

**

I want to be a Psychologist.

Oh god, why?

So I can help people.

Yeah, people with issues, we already have enough issues in the family.

****

People wonder why I shrug every time in get asked that stupid question, it's because no matter what I say I get shitted on for it.

How's school going? Fucken hate this question, it's an ocean of stress and anxiety for me.

****

Good, I guess.

And how's math, mom told me you weren't doing too good.

Yeah, I passed with a D.

Well I guess you won't be going to any good colleges...but don't worry we'll find a place for you.

****

This is what I get from my family. Can't you just feel the love.?

How've you been? Terrible. I have anxiety that effects my every day living, I want to be put in a hospital to get help, I hurt myself all the time now, I have cuts on my legs that burn when they rub against the fabric of my jeans, I'm neglected half the time at home, and I pray to not wake up almost every night.

****

Good.

Just good?

Yup.